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Tramatized need some help...

My 3 year old went threw a very tramatized experenice in July. Now she is having nightmares, acting out, and screams for me after her nightmares. What should I do? Should I really try to see if I can find a therapist to help her, she is only 3?


Asked by Younganproud at 3:41 AM on Oct. 22, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (10)
  • You should try to talk to her about what happened. Tell her that it scared you too and daddy was wrong for behaving that way and that is why you took her and left. Tell her that you will not allow that to happen again... ever. Reassure her that you will always be together, no matter what. As for you mother in law, tell her that her continuous talk regarding her son deeply upsets your daughter because of what he did and if she wants to continue to see her, she needs to not talk about him at all during visits. Maybe consider moving her bed into your room for a while to help her feel secure? If she continues to have trouble, a child therapist is probably a good idea. The poor thing is scared to death. Give her tons of hugs and let her cling for a while. Good luck!

    Answer by khedy at 9:58 AM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • Yes! You really should find a therapist that you can talk to. If she doesn't get it cured for now, it may effect her for the rest of her life. I've heard of people who have been through some really hard times. Well what is the traumatize? If you don't mind me asking? Because that may vary weather you can help her on your own, or just have her see a therapist.

    Answer by Hesmynavyman at 3:49 AM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • I guess I should mention the tramatized event was caused by her father. He was screaming an shoving me an stomped on my phone an grabbed her under her arms an was holding her away from me. Ever since I got her out of the house an away from him she is still scarred an doesn't want me to leave her sight. She hasn't had any contact with him (Except online on a web) with him since then. But after she doesn't have nightmares for a while her fathers Mother comes over an starts talking about him (More like praizing him) to her an then the nightmares start up again. I just don't know what to do... Should I try to talk to her about what happened in July?

    Answer by Younganproud at 3:51 AM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • Well that's a very good question. Just tell her something in the lines of ( " Honey Mommy is going to go to bed now, you sleep on your big girl bed, and I will sleep in mine." ),

    Or when she starts to act up and get's scared ask her verbally why she's scared and if something makes her afraid and why? That she has nothing to worry about.

    ( Say " Sweetie Mommy needs you not to be holding on to me like that, your a big girl." You know saying something like that can be very comforting for a child. As long as she knows your there then she should be ok. Maybe she feels like your being pulled away from her when Her Father did that, and that's what really scared her so she doesn't want to be out of your sight.

    Answer by Hesmynavyman at 5:11 AM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • Yes I would take her to talk to someone.

    Answer by lissa27504 at 9:07 AM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • I would take her to a child psychologist, they are very good with things like this. Also, if you don't co-sleep, maybe you both would get a little more sleep if you were to sleep together. It may help with the nightmares. My son went through a period when he had night terrors, and the only peace we got from that was letting him sleep with us. Then he moved to the couch( that is where he wanted to sleep), then finally back to his bed. If you don't get her any help, then it could get worse. It is her way of letting you know she don't feel right, and she is scared. At her age, she is does not really know how to express her feelings, and these are the ways she is doing it. My thoughts are with you, and good luck.

    Answer by mommyof2lilmen at 9:38 AM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • have her sleep with you a few nights or move her bed to your room. she needs to feel safe, and right now she doesn't. also, tell grandma that she is upsetting your daughter by talking about her father in any way shape or form, and if grandma cannot stop talking about daddy, then grandma will not be allowed to see your daughter at all

    you can look for a therapist, but i'm not really sure there are that many, if any, that deal with children that young. usually a child has to be old enough to be able to articulate more complex emotions

    Answer by bi-polarmommy at 10:22 AM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • There are a lot of therapists that handle children her age. Get her in right away! and let her sleep and feel as comfortable as she can with you for as long as she can.

    Answer by wilesmomma at 10:29 AM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • Talk to "grandma" & tell her that if she wishes to see YOUR DAUGHTER then she CAN NOT mention the father. If she continues to do so, I would cut all communication with her. And yes, a child therapist may be a good idea. You need to make your daughter feel secure, if that means co-sleeping or lying in bed with her until she falls asleep, then you may need to do just that until she gets past this. The poor baby.

    Answer by WonderTwinMom at 10:45 AM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • Take her to a play therapist/child therapist and get her the help she needs, Why do you want to continue with her being tramuatized when there is someone that can help her. Also, let her sleep with you if that is what will make her comfortable. Keep her from grandma until grandma can stop adding to the trauma your daughter is going through.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 12:33 PM on Oct. 22, 2009