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Is anyone else....

Scared to death of getting hurt emotionally again? It' really starting to affect me. I don't want to be alone the rest of my life but the thoughts of getting attached to someone again and getting hurt yet AGAIN scare me to death. I've been talking to this guy for a few weeks and he's soooo sweet. I thought the other night I was starting to have feelings for him and for the first time those feeling SCARED THE CRAP OUTTA ME. All I could think about was how I had to end it now before I got hurt. I don't want to live my life like this , but I just don't know how to get past it....any suggestions?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:09 AM on Oct. 22, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Counseling.
    wilesmomma

    Answer by wilesmomma at 10:14 AM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • Take it as slowly as possible. Let him know that you aren't ready to be too committed or to say the "L" word yet. Go with the flow of things and try to talk to a counselor about your emotional baggage. You don't want to throw away a perfectly good relationship out of fear, just be sure to take everything s-l-o-w-l-y!
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 10:14 AM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • who says this guy is going to ruin this one.. dont let other guys ruin it for him
    SweetiePieAfWf

    Answer by SweetiePieAfWf at 10:15 AM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • I agree with taking it slow. Go on dates, dont start an instant relationship. Have fun and remember you are just fine alone. It is easier to think clearly about the person and if it is someone you want in your future if you dont get physical with him. kiss him at the door and tell him goodnight. dont put yourself in a position to let it lead to more for awhile. This will make it easier to keep your distance and gaurd your heart for awhile. Love is worth the risk, jut be sure the guy is worthy of the risk. Check him out well b4 putting your heart out there.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 10:56 AM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • Go slow, be friends first. The best relationships come from taking your time and really getting to know the other person before letting it get serious.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 11:56 AM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • I've so been in your shoes. It scares the crap outta you and makes you afraid, but as my Mom told me "Fear is never a good motivation for anything" or for ending anything. Don't expect him to be like all of the rest, but don't let your guard (or your panties lol) down too easily either.
    When I met my DH, we were both (eventually) very open about our past hurts, and neither of us were looking for a relationship. In a way this ambivalence on both of our parts made it all the more exciting.
    One of the sweetest things my DH said to me before we got married was "I'm glad you had those experiences before we met, otherwise you wouldn't be the woman you are today, and you wouldn't be MINE." And you know what? He isn't at all like those A-holes I dated, he's a REAL man.
    JawgaMom1

    Answer by JawgaMom1 at 2:20 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

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