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bacholorette party?

I was the first out of all my friends to get married, and we did it quick with only immediate family present. I didn't want a big wedding and hate being the center of attention. No, I was not pregnant.
Now, my friends are starting to get married. I think it's great, except for the bachelorette party.I HATE the sexual games. I know it's part of the whole tradition, but I'm embarrassed by it all. I'm not comfortable talking about sex with anybody but my hubby.
I have always been able to find an excuse not to go before, but now I'm a bridesmaid and the bride is being a total B***H about it. I offered to shoulder the responsibility of the bridal shower to be able to bow out of the Bachollorette party, but she said "no way, if I'm her friend I should suck it up and do it anyways."
Is she right on this one? Do I have to go?
I don't know where to put this question, I know it has nothing to do with parenting.

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:55 AM on Oct. 22, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (8)
  • I would just tell her " you know i love you and i would do anything for you, but i cant do this! I am uncomfortable and I want no part of it. I hope you girls have fun, but I would rather have another resposibility like the shower, preparing invitations or something I am good at and comfortable with. I know you will be disappointed but please respect my wishes" Send it in an email if you have to. You dont HAVE to do anything you dont want to..she should be your friend and respect your wishes too.

    Answer by ria7 at 12:04 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • Don't go, unless you are the maid of honor, in that case you would probably be planning it! My DH and I just don't attend these things, you can just have plans the day that it comes, send a card with a gift certificate or something, I don't make a deal, just have something else to "do".

    Answer by kimigogo at 12:05 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • I think she is being pretty rude about it, but I think you should suck it up and go. It will just cause a rift if you don't. The question is if you think it is worth losing a friend over.
    You could say the same about how she is acting though... I mean if she was a good friend she would understand how you feel and not push it.
    Hmmm... I think you need to do what you feel comfortable with. If she stops being friends with you over this, she is an asshat and doesn't deserve your friendship.

    Answer by Nathskitten at 12:06 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • She is being a "bridezilla". If she is truly your friend, she will understand. Perhaps you should bow out of being a bridesmaid.

    Answer by rkoloms at 12:09 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • sounds like a case of bridezilla! I would just go and be quiet the whole night, be the dd, ect.

    Answer by auroura at 12:10 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • If you are a bridesmaid you should go. Some of the games might be embarrassing but it will mean a LOT to your friend to have you there and see that you are supporting her in her decision to marry this guy. If you are uncomforatble with the games don't play them. Keep yourself busy doing something else, decorating, prepareing another game, going to the bathroom. But don't skip out on your friends party. Now if she is having stippers or going to a strip club and you don't want to be part of that, then don't, you can drive separate and leave early or like a pp said be the dd.

    Answer by dolphinz1923 at 12:37 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • OP HERE~ Thanks to those that thought of the DD answer! I love that idea, maybe she will too. And yes, there will be strippers there.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:13 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • See for me I couldn't go. I would be super upset if my husband saw strippers and I would hope he would be upset if I did. To me its cheating. I would just tell the bride, Sorry but I can't go.

    Answer by lstrickland at 1:31 AM on Oct. 23, 2009

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