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Is this a justifiable reason to put my sons into daycare while being a SAHM?

I have clinical depression and PPD. I also have a 2 year old and a 1 year old. They are both boys and are the most hyper kids ever. They tear down the house as soon as they wake up and they are always on the move. The older one does not take any naps anymore and just refuses to listen. The 1 yr old does whatever he sees his older brother do. I really cant cope anymore. Most days I cant bring myself to get out of bed, let alone care for my kids and home. I find myself snapping and screaming at them, and I feel bad about this.
I am in the process of looking for a job, even if ALL of my paycheck would go into childcare. I think my sanity is questionable right now. I just cant deal anymore, at least for now, until I get myself together. I am on lexapro (anti-depressant) and have gained 15 pounds in 2 months bcos of this, and it doesnt even seem to help me. I just need some advice not bashing, altho I know its coming.

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:53 PM on Oct. 22, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (64)
  • sure put them in daycare just while they r there try to find a job good luck

    Answer by firstimemomm603 at 2:55 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • You can't take care of everyone else until you take care of yourself. I would also try switching meds. I was on Welbutrin XL and didn't gain any weight. Maybe find a babysitter instead of a daycare or a play group type thing. Or take a scrapbooking glass or join a gym while your kids are gone. Everyone needs time to themeselves.

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 2:57 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • I personally don't think it'd be a bad idea, but I do suggest putting them in seperately, just part-time - send one child one day, the other child the next, and so on - that way you get alone time with each of them - they need that. If that's not enough, then send them both one day - but give them a chance to have time just with you without the other child there.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:58 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • It sounds like a very good reason to at least look for part-times care, but I also hope you try to get more help for your depression. I think you will enjoy your children and your life a lot more if you can get past the depression, and I think it will also be a much better environment for your children.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:58 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • Ok, first of all, I would recommend trying another medication if yours if not seeming to help. Many people I know have had great results with Celexa. Lexapro is often prescribed for bi-polar disorder and can often have strange side effects in someone not suffering from it. If you need a break from your child for your sanity or their safety then by all means, take it. Many people will say it is best for you to stay at home with your children, but what is actually best for your children is a happy healthy mommy. And that you are not right now. I would imagine that your boys are reacting to a lack of structure or routine as well as acting out as kids will do. If you can get some sort of a regular routine in the house and some consistent discipline, I bet that would really help. However, that being said, your children will not fair well in a home where mom is unhappy and overstressed.

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 3:00 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • if you don't want bashing, i suggest you close the question- if you want to talk, i'll be more than glad to... PPD is something a lot of us deal with, and have been medicated for. but there may be a lot of other factors involved which make you feel so helpless. i went back to work a couple of times for this reason (that and my ex wouldn't pay bills- he had drug issues).

    by what you said, i'm worried for your boys, and for you- not bashing, genuine concern. there are a lot of things you can do to help- and always remember, even if you feel as though you are, you are not alone.

    please feel free to msg me, or catch me on AIM- same handle as CM.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 3:00 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • Thank you so much for all the positive responses right now. I really was scared to read them. I am actually hugging my son right now which feels good.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:00 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • If you can do something for yourself to make yourself a little less on edge, then you owe it to yourself and your children to do so.

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 3:00 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • I'm sorry you aren't enjoying your children, and I completely understand your desire to work instead of staying home with your boys. I could never be a SAHM. However, sending your children to daycare won't eliminate their behavior problems. You need to search out some effective discipline techniques for your young boys.

    Good luck to you.

    Answer by Dyndudes at 3:03 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • You need to take care of you first. It sounds like a good idea.

    Answer by mommorgan at 3:07 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

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