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do they call to check in or visit often (if live nearby)? or do they expect you to come over to their place.i just am really annoyed, disappointed and frustrated that my in-laws never call and never visit. they make trips out to see other grand kids, but, never to mine. the only times they see my kids is when we have special occasion get togethers, if we take them to their house or ask them to babysit. What's your situation like?
I compare my in-laws to my parents...because my parents seem more loving and caring. They call just to say hi to my toddler and check-in on my infant and they at least visit once or twice a week. My toddler knows my parents well...and does not know her other grandparents.
Am I the only one that gets irritated by this? It's upsetting. I feel like because I'm only ten minutes away, they take advantage of that...and just go drive an hour away or fly across country to see their other grand kids.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:21 PM on Oct. 22, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (12)
  • Maybe they are just like that...maybe it is nothing personal. yes it would be frustrating. My boyfriends parents are like that with all their grandkids. They open their home anytime but dont make any effort to go to their kids homes to visit kids. maybe they feel like they are imposing IDK but i will be in your shoes if we get married and have kids together.

    Answer by ria7 at 4:27 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • I don't know. I would agree to that but they would drive an hour away to see my nephew or fly across country to see my niece. It seems like if I don't initiate something, they wouldn't bother with my kids. I don't understand why would they would feel like they're imposing on me. I'm a stay-at-home mom, we don't go anywhere, they know we're home. My kids need both sets of grandparents to visit, not just one...since both are very close by. Yes, they're home is always open for us to go there, but, that's it...why should I pack and lug everything and bring two babies there and drive on the freeway, when they can just come here? Weird, I will never understand it, I guess.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:32 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • yeah my mil seems annoyed when my dh and dd go to her house on sunday but me & the baby don't come too she calls and says stuff like "i really would like to see sam" and i'm like wtf come see him...

    Answer by josiesmommy00 at 4:33 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • My parents feel its my and my sisters job to make sure they see the grand kids. All the time I was growing up they always complained because they had to take us to see our grandparents and now its the same deal with them.

    Answer by auroura at 4:37 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • and i wrote my fil and he said he doesn't see my niece and nephew as often as my kids...yeah right. and he will come over when he gets back from being out of town. we will see.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:45 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • <<< joiseysmommy, yeah seriously, i feel the same in-laws are friends of mine on facebook and i will post pictures of my kids, and get comments from them, "oh, so cute. they need to visit grandpa more often"... why do i have to go there? why do i have to initiate them coming here? and why comment on my photos on facebook when you can just come here and see in person how cute they really are, they grow so fast too.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:48 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • indeed!

    Answer by josiesmommy00 at 6:14 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • It can be irksome but in the end it is their choice. So do what you can but don't expect to have the horses drink the water just because you offer it. It is their loss and their choice. It is ALSO your choice in that you can, knowing what you do, decide to bring the children more often to see them. Yeah, it is a pain. I equally support your right to visit the same amount now. But we all make choices and respond to what we are thinking and feeling. You are also THE PARENT now. If you want your children to have more visits then as the parent you have the power to make this happen (if your in laws are sincere in having you come). Or you can be wishful it were a different way. But you do have some power to effect the relationships and interactions. I'm not saying that your in laws are right. They are probably not and it is a pain. But we have to do pain in the ass things as parents for the sake of our kids.

    Answer by frogdawg at 6:29 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • My husbands parents are dead. The only in-laws I have are brothers and their wives.

    Only one of them lives close and they dont bug us unless they need us for something so not often(thank the stars).

    Answer by Amaranth361 at 6:44 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • No, my ILs don't visit often or pay that much attention to our kids. Which is kind of a blessing since we don't get along very well. I do wish they would make more effort for the sake of the kids though. My FIL only saw my youngest child twice in her first year- once as a newborn, once at ten months. And he lives about 45 minutes away.

    Answer by Freela at 8:28 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

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