Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)


OK SO MY DH WAS WITH A GIRL 6 YEARS AGO AND SHE AND HER MOM CALLED AND TOLD HIM SHE WAS PREGO and said they was getting a abortion and he couldnt stop them at the time he was 16 and he did not belive she was prego but anyways she took off and he never seen her again... now being 22 years old we hear the girl has a 6 year old dd and we r told it is his... but how can she have a child and keep it from him? i mean isnt there something we can do to get custody of this child? he did not say it was ok for her to have a abortion. i mean isnt that illegal? please someone with some help....

Answer Question

Asked by firstimemomm603 at 4:37 PM on Oct. 22, 2009 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,111 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • no its not illegal she had the right to have a abortion or not have one and just not tell him anything. Id ask for a DNA test and go from there maybe she is lying and its someone elses who knows. If it does turn out to be his getting custudy probably woundt work mainly because he hasnt beena round for the last 6 years not his fault but still hasnt been there. That child doesnt know him. If it is his then yes you should ask to at least have visition because she deserves to know her daddy. Good luck and im sorry.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:40 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • I would definitly go to court and file for a DNA test for the little girl. If it is his then there are legal steps he can take... Hope this helps some!

    Answer by WAH_Mama at 4:41 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • i mean she told him she had a abortion but she lied and didnt

    Answer by firstimemomm603 at 4:43 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • she may have lied but it was still her choice and nothing she did is illegal.
    Id ask for a DNA test and go from there.

    Answer by RykersMom04 at 4:45 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • You first need to find her and get a DNA test to see if it really his. And get a lawyer. I really do not think you can get full custody . Unless you can prove she is unfit. About all he can get is dual custody or visitation


    Answer by louise2 at 4:48 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • Do you know who is on the child's birth certificate as the father? If she wrote in your guy's name, then you can bypass the DNA test to go to court for custody. If she left it blank or wrote in someone else's name, then your only course of action is the DNA test.
    You didn't mention whether he wants this child to be his or not... That's the big question. If he wants to take responsibility for the child then finding out the true paternity is a good first step. BUT, if he is only mad about the lie and doesn't truly want to have the child in his life, it would be better for all if the situation was left alone, unless the child is being abused or uncared for. No reason to upset a fragile life b/c of a grudge.

    Answer by Iskkra at 4:51 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • Why do you want to take a child away from its mother? The child doesnt even know his father. She has been raised by her mother for 6 years. If the child is your husband's than he should seek split custody with his daughters mom.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:52 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • why would she want to lie about it and leave her child with out her father?thats the question i mean he wants to be a man and take care of it

    Answer by firstimemomm603 at 4:56 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • If she doesn't want to do the paternity test then he will have to go through the courts. That means if the child is his he will have to pay support until the child is 18 or 21. Does he want that responsibility? He isn't going to get custody unless the mother is unfit and he has a great life situation.

    Answer by Gailll at 5:07 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • we have a great living situation we also have a child that is 8 months old. and we do good and dont hurt for money. but wouldnt it be ilegal for her to lie and say she got a abortion and she really didnt? and he does want to be the father if the baby is his.

    Answer by firstimemomm603 at 5:22 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Relationships