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FIL is a jerk

My DH' dad walked out of his life when he was 5. Since, he has been in and out, but when he is "in", he has treated DH like crap for the most part. When DH lived with him as a child he was gone a lot for work and left DH w/ his new wife, who was a pill-popping alcoholic mess. He never did any "dad" stuff w/ him, really, except taking him hunting. He didn't ever like me - he compares me to DH's mom (NOT a compliment), and didn't want us to get married. FIL moved out of town soon after we got married and only comes back every few months. He used to call us when he came in, to see our son and all, but stopped calling recently. He told DH's sister that it was b/c we "never answered his calls" and "didn't have enough time for him". But we make every effort to see him when he comes in. We only backed out of one engagement with him b/c DH couldn't get off work. And DH says his dad doesn't call him. (con't)

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Asked by Anonymous at 5:46 PM on Oct. 22, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (3)
  • OP - So, my question is, do we just let this man be an immature jerk and let him walk out of our lives? DH's sister said he told her he was "cutting us off" b/c we hurt his feelings. But this man was never there for DH - why should we be there for his every whim? He never gives us more than a day's notice, if that, when he comes in, so of course we can't always drop everything to "visit" with him. He recently came in and gave DH's sister a bday present for our son, but didn't call us to tell us or anything. He just dropped it with her and left town. WTF?

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:49 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • i would just let walk, sorry hun but if he is acting like that when you were there but he did not make an effort then it just isn't worth it and for him to keep attempting to play lil mind games like ur dh and his sister are still children then they do not need it... Good Luck

    Answer by waterlily89 at 6:03 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • My DH's father is just like your FIL. He is a ex heroin addict, when my husband was young he was homeless many times because of him. He called my husband recently and told him he was going to come over here and kick his ass. He said he wanted to see his granddaughter and we said HELL NO. Why would you want someone like that to be around your child. Someone who treats your husband and your family like that shouldn't have the priveledge to see your son.

    Answer by drs1206 at 6:23 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

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