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My three year old has been out of control, and im out of ideas...?

Im a young mom w/another boy due at the end of nov. My son just turned 3, his whole life well will say hes never been an angel. Altho, this past year has been really difficult. He acts out, time outs dont work, he distroys his room if i make him have quiet time, if you spank him he laughs at you like it was nothing, he throws anything he can lift. swings chairs, spits, yells/screams, kicks, i mean think of everything he shouldnt do and he does it. NO dosnt mean anything. Im now 8 months preg. and i know its bad to say, but im already scared for my newborn. hes just really agressive. I was a single mom for the first year of my sons life, so his lifes been challenging, he has an amazing step dad that he sometimes listens to, but he cant always be home with me cause hes in the US mariens, i just odnt know what to do, his bio dad had ADHD really bad, and im nerves my son does to, but dr said hes to yount to test, & to wait it out


Asked by MarineWife2509 at 6:00 PM on Oct. 22, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (4)
  • You may want to consult a therapist or behavior specialist. It sounds like your son might not be having typical 3 year old tantrums and there could be some underlying issue that needs to be dealt with. Oppositional Defiance Disorder truly is a chemical malfunction in the brain and these children often have no control over their anger outbursts because of this malfunction. I'm not saying this is what your son has, but it sounds like there's more to it then he's just bad. If there is an underlying issue then treating that will often times lead to improved behavior. My little cousin has ODD he was kicked out of 5 day cares and suspended from kindergarten 3 times. They got him in therapy and on the correct medication and he's now a straight A student in the gifted 5th grade class. This may not be all your sons fault and talking to a therapist wouldn't hurt. If you didn't agree with what they said then you could just leave.

    Answer by ba13ygrl1987 at 8:41 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • Don't worry about it too much just yet. He may have ADHD, he may not. But it IS too young to tell. Plus, he's acting like alot of 3 year olds do, so he may grow out of it. My daughter is 3 and having the same exact problems. I have decided, after consulting many people, to simply ignore her tantrums. I let her destroy her room. I let her scream and kick. She usually injures herself (never seriously) and that makes her stop. If you ignore him, he will eventually get the point that tantrums won't get him what he wants.

    Answer by MommyDumDum at 6:08 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • Are you consistent with your discipline or do you feel bad and give in? The first step is to establish rules and enforce them. He is immune to physical discipline. So, he needs first is for you to pay attention. When he does something wrong get up and deal with it. Don't just sit on the couch and say "don't do that". Get up and physically remove the issue. Lower your body, lower your voice, lower your expectations. Demand respect and be consistent. ALLOW HIM NO VIOLENCE. He hits, punches, bites, pinches and he gets immediate discipline. STICK WITH THIS!

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:08 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • Dear MommyDumDum, i always have never given into his tamtums and its more of im scared hes going to hurt someone else, im staying with my parents while my husbands away for osme training, and he abuses my nieces...and it has resulted serious at times, also i had to withdraw him from day care, and leave my job because of his aggresstion toward kids in his class. thats why im really not sure what my options are anymore. and he has ingured himself in distroying his room, just today he tipped his dresser over and got stuck because of this, and the bad part is i had just got down the stairs from putting him in there heard the bang and had to go right back up.
    Dear Anonymous, I dont give in, thats what my parents and everyone have a hard time understanding why he acts that way. we never alow it, but he still does it. for a year now iv delt with it and am still struggling. I always show my athority. THANK you both for answering me

    Answer by MarineWife2509 at 6:28 PM on Oct. 22, 2009