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I want to thank everyone ahead for not judging me. I live with my fiancee with our 4 month old & my 3 girls I had by someone else. I have four kids 3 diff dads. I'm not a person who sleeps around just someone with bad judgement & a habit to trust/love to quickly. recently I felt an overwhelming guilt for living together unmarried, but what can I do I can't afford to live on my own & we have lived together for about 1 1/2 years now. I finally found the other half of my heart. He said he would be hurt if I left the apt. until we were married, & my 6 yr, 2 yr call him dad. their dad never did pay much attention to him, This is the first time I had a kid out of marriage- he was conceived on birth control. I love my baby. any loving, kind advice?

Answer Question

Asked by maiahlynn at 10:22 PM on Oct. 22, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 13 (1,143 Credits)
Answers (20)
  • Why not get married?

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:25 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • I second that. Get married then

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:28 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • do you have doubt about making a marriage with this man? if so..why continue your relationship? if you don't have doubt, why don't you guys get married? nothing's holding you may as well join the rest of us (or me, anyway!)

    (we weren't married either when our ds was born..we hopped to the courthouse when he was about 3 months old.)

    Answer by thehairnazi at 10:31 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • get married.. go to the court house or a little quick chapel... if you're waiting because u were planning a big wedding... do the courthouse thing and then have another celebration the way you had planned..or wait a little while and renew ur vowels in a wedding ceremony in 5 or 10 years.

    but the answer to ur question is - get married.

    And no.. definitely not judging u... I raised my son alone was never married and I was a pastors kid... but God is a loving forgiving merciful God...

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:31 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • Pray, read your bible. Listen and wait for the holy spirit. God's word is better than anyone else's!

    Answer by NikkiMomof2grls at 10:35 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • from what i understand you had 3 bad marriages? if so i can understand why you would not want to get married. since you have been living together for so long an it seems like your kids are getting along really well with him and you are also happy with him, why not talk to him about getting married, it doesnt have to be a huge affair but something even at the justice of the peace. as far as living with him before marriage, at this point because you do have a child it would be better for your children's sake to live with him so they can have both mom and dad under the same roof. it would help your kids have that stability that kids often need, especially if things are going well. i think you have to put your kids feelings into consideration, living together as a family unit is probably the best for them, your little kids dont know the difference between marriage or not, they only see that mom and dad live together.

    Answer by reggiboo at 10:36 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • As far as judging goes, you have to remember John 4. Jesus went out of His way, because He wanted to meet with the Samaritan woman who was living with a man out of wedlock and she had been married to 5 other men. Jesus knew all about her and He wanted to offer her what only He can give-- living water, overflowing life.

    Don't just ask people what to do, ask Him. He will meet with you just as He met with the woman at the well. He loves you so much. And His plan for your life is better than anyone else's and it includes you finding satisfaction!!!

    I pray that as you seek Him you would get an answer for exactly how to make things right, that you and your precious children would be blessed, that you would walk in truth and holiness, and that you would obey Him and listen to your conviction.


    Answer by Cinnamon-mom at 10:39 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • we were aug. 2008 then we found out, he was still married.. His ex told him she filed & all was a go, but she was wrong. Now they are in a custody battle because his son is being abused by his ex's boyfriend. I guess divorce comes with custody they can't be done separately. We got a lawyer now so hopefully that will help. I've had two bad marriages, my 1st I had my 11 yr, my second I had my 6 & 2 yr old.

    Answer by maiahlynn at 10:43 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • Oh I go plummeting myself right into the unpopular category again.........Either get married or stop having sex together. Cohabitating with someone of the opposite sex is not a sin. The sin is in the fornication or sex before marriage. So if you are feeling convicted for living with your boyfriend while you are not married and yet it isn't possible to move out.....then....stop having sex.

    I've lived with DF since the end of May. We haven't had sex with eachother throughout the course of our relationship. We are getting married this Saturday and I am so looking forward to the SEX!!!!! Wanna know if someone loves you? Don't have sex with him, lol. Of course, it was his decision, too.........

    Answer by WindyTheWidow at 11:05 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • Just love your family! Seems like you have that one down pretty well already. If the living together out of wedlock bothers you then you will simply need to have your fiancee do what he can to get his divorced finalized so that you two can get married. Best wishes to you

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 11:06 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

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