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herpes... what are your thoughts?

i was just dx today with herpes. i am waiting on test results to see whether type 2 or type 1. i have been monogamous to my partner the ENTIRE 8 years we have been together. aside from that he is the ONLY partner ive ever had. so suffice to say ive ONLY ever had sex with him. he swears he has been faithful. i have never seen him with a genital outbreak and we never have sex when he has an oral outbreak. but my doc says it must have been contracted by skin to skin touch. i dont know what to believe. any thoughts?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:29 PM on Oct. 22, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • He should be getting tested also and then you can really get to the bottom of things.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:34 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • any outbreak on the mouth? orally contracted??
    (sorry about your sitch..i was diagnosed about 16 years ago..had never had sex, but only recieved oral from a gf, who'd had a blister or two from time to time on her lip..i was stupid and young, didn't think or know things...good thing is, i've only had one outbreak since, and it was only one small blister..nothing at all like the initial..OMG! )

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:38 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • op here: i have no idea if would have come from him orally! thats what i was trying to say lol!... he has never gone downtown on me while having a fever blister. ever. it almost like he would just gave it to me (if it is infact type 1 (oral)) with out a symptom at all. and for first poster.. he has been tested and i have been told by both the nursing staff and the doctors that its hard to get a dx with out an outbreak b/c you only come up possitive for the disease on your way out of, during, or going into an infection. not while you are basically in remission and the disease is hibernating.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:49 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • Ok let me tell it to you like this its not the end of the world and trust me i know, you could have had it for years and not known and hubby could have had it for years and not know.. since you are married its no big deal, because most likely u both have this. if you were single it would be a big deal, its hard to start a relationship with this infomation, anyways. I have know I have had it for 3 years, and had one outbreak they also have great great medication for it now a days.. anyways if you want someone to talk to let me know

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:52 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • ok OP that is not true, once u have it in ur blood u will pop on a test no matter if u have an outbreak or not, and u can pass it with out an outbreak as well.

    Answer by miss_nevin at 10:55 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • op here: miss nevin- i dont know for sure.. im going by what the staff at the dr office told me. if this is the case and it will pop up on a test no matter what then here in lies the problem. s/o was tested yr 1 in our relationship= 8 yrs ago in other words. a blood test. came back clean. so ok. he didnt have it when we got together way back. where did i get it from? infidelity on his part with in the past 7 untested yrs?

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:15 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • I think it can be caught without having any form of sex. Information changes all the time but a long time ago we were told you could catch it from toilet seats etc. You can get herpes on any part of the body, not just oral and genitals and it's possible that either one of you got it on a hand/finger/lips/face/thigh and passed it on to the other one thinking it was something else.
    With men, it's more likely to remain dormant than with women because our hormones bring on outbreaks. Read all you can online and then decide if you can believe that he's been unfaithful or not, and if he has, then he's going to have to decide whether or not to believe you have too. I'd have a tough time believing it but that's just me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:33 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • Okay, well u can get it from toilet seats or if he has oral herpes and he touches it and puts his hand down there.. it is also possible that u had it before and never knew and never passed it.. my x had it and we were together for 4 years and i never got it. Now if ur bf or husband was tested 7 years ago and didnt have it then how about now has he been tested again?there are other test where it only shows up if u have an outbreak ect.. but once u have this its in ur blood no questions asked.. if he doesnt have it there is no reason u should question him on faithful or not.. if u do have it he should be asking u.. not trying to be rude.. but thats how it is.. not sure what to think about the whole thing if i was you guys i would get u guys both tested and if you both have it then i would talk to him and if u guys both have been faithful then i would move on and live with it the way it is.. that all said and done..

    Answer by miss_nevin at 11:45 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • if he does have it, i would think long and hard over if i though he had ever cheated cause yes you can get this from somewere else but most cases are from sex, or oral sex, or from someone with oral herpes.. bathrooms ect, highly unlikely you got it from there..

    Answer by miss_nevin at 11:48 PM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • I was diagnosed with herpes when I was 16 years old. I did a lot of research on the subject and I am just finishing nursing school. I was with my partner for a year before I got an outbreak. When you first contract herpes you will get your first outbreak generally within 24 hours of contracting the virus. It is unlikely that your partner has had this virus the entire time you have been with him and you are just now contracting the virus. My partner swore he was faithful but once I did the research I realised that was almost impossible. He finally admitted he cheated about 4 years after I got my first outbreak.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:09 AM on Oct. 23, 2009

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