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breaking your pregnancy news to a friend-

SO and i are thinking about trying for baby#2 within the next year. friends of ours have been trying for almost 2 years with no luck. the wife has had a very hard time dealing with this and i sympathize with her deeply, but she has also not taken the proactive steps towards conceiving, such as discussing any fertility methods, etc. instead she "throws fits" at gatherings, crying and leaving after having a few cocktails because she has not been able to get pregnant and tells me she doesnt like hearing everyone talk about their babies, kids, and pregnancies. she also bad mouths people who she feels are not deserving of having children, such as those who are not married or not college educated like her. my SO and i are not married by choice and when i say this, she says we are the exception. her husband is not college educated. but anyway, when we do conceive again, how can i break the news to her if she still hasnt conceived?

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:05 AM on Oct. 23, 2009 in Trying to Conceive

Answers (4)
  • you dont

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:32 AM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • Friends don't tell eachother everything. Its impossible. She will figure it out on her own plus don't sacrifice your own happiness for others cause they won't for you! When she finds out and ask why you didn't tell her she thought bedt friends tell eachother everything tell her you were being considerate of her feeling and wishes and best friends don't brag the support:)

    Answer by christinkie at 2:21 AM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • I have been the one with fertility issues, and when my sister got pregnant she didn't tell me because she didn't know how. I was emotional, but I wasn't going around throwing fits or bad-mouthing anyone. It really hurt me that she didn't tell me herself and I found out from out mom when she was already 4 or 5 months along. A friend also got pregnant at that time, and she was reluctant to tell me - our boss actually told me about it, which was fine - I did understand why she was reluctant, and I did wish her well when I knew. If this person is really a friend I suggest you tell her (not necessarily as soon as you find out, but don't let it go on for 5 months either). If you can't bring yourself to tell her, then let the news out to her through someone else, and when she says something to you try to be nice and say you hurt for her and you just didn't know how to tell her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:00 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • Honestly I don't think I'd worry about telling her. She seems to have a bit of a snooty attitude toward anyone she deems inferior to herself and I'm not sure I'd want to be around anyone like that much less let them in on my happy baby news, especially if she would bad mouth, make a scene or just plain be rude about it if I did tell her. She seems to do this to others so who's to say she doesn't already do this behind your back and won't do more if you tell her your latest news. But, seriously, snubbing people because they aren't college educated or because they aren't married... how snotty can you get? For me, those are the people I can do without.
    But if she truly is your friend, and I hope so, she'll stick by you... tell her that you are now trying to conceive, just as she is, and if you get preggers, wait till you are alone to tell her, let her know you understand her pain, but want her to share your joy. GL~

    Answer by mom2BOYZnDad at 11:49 AM on Oct. 25, 2009

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