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What do you do when...

You and your husband had the same group of friends in highschool. Now, 7 years later, after having kids and him serving 3 years in the military+a deployment, he still wants to constantly hang out with them even though they are ALL still extremely immature, single, barhopping losers? Don't get me wrong, be single and barhopping doesn't make you a loser, but the way they act in public does. It's hard to relate to most of them now because they don't have kids or any ambitions in life besides getting drunk/laid. Most of the time I tell him to go without me because I never have a good time with them anymore, but there's a little trust factor seeing as how he goes out acting like a single guy with a bunch of other single guys only looking for 1 thing. How can we have fun together? Most importantly, how can I trust he's not out there being a complete idiot and making bad choices when he has children to think of?


Asked by Anonymous at 8:42 AM on Oct. 23, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (4)
  • Once you get married you or him have no more business going out and acting like you are single especially now that you have kids.

    He has to make a decision be the married man and father that he is or let his family go and you find you a man who will love and support you and ur child the way it should be.
    Once you let him go out it might not happen now but sooner or later it will happen I use to be just like you on my first marriage after 5 yrs. of marriage he cheated (not to mention for all I know maybe he was doing it right after we got married) I am just telling you from experience. He wants to go out he has to go out with you and ur child not his single friends (they don't care about his life) so open your eyes now girl tell him he has to make a decision now or else.GL

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 9:01 AM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • It's time for his to grow up. He needs to realize that he made a choice to have a wife and children. he is not on the same level as his friends who chose not to have the responsiblity that he has. I know it's easy to say but to actually have his realize is very hard. I would talk to him about it. Each man is different. Let him see it from your side maybe then he will understand.

    Answer by Mrs.Oriaku at 8:54 AM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • I mean you can go out but with eachother.

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 9:02 AM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • As an adult, we have so many responsibilities that we start to lose ourselves. You may say that this is part of being an adult, but losing ourselves is not. Sometimes it is okay to go out and let loose with our friends. It is fun to have no worries. Have you never wanted to go out and let your hair down. There is nothing wrong with your DH going out and having fun. Just because he does something immature every once in a while does not make him a bad person. As long as he is not doing anything illegal, then just let him be, and if it bothers you so much just don't let him tell you what he did. BTW- I am married and my DH and I go out with our friends. Just because a couple are married does not mean they have to leave their friends behind. We just bring ours along.


    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 1:30 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

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