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He cheated on me and now he is making me suffer for it. He thinks because he cheated that i got him back and now he is treating me really bad. I should be the one treating him bad not the other way around.

My husband cheated on me and gave me an STD. I didnt forgive him for a long time but then i realized that the only way it will get better is if i stop throwing it in his face and try to get over it. I stopped bringing it up. We split up for a few months because he was treating me really bad and i moved across the country away from him. He is constantly now calling me a whore and slut and putting me down. he said he knows i cheated on him. I honestly didnt. I did though go out and drink and go clubbin with friends. I had fun. I didnt cheat i just wanted to go out and have fun like my friends were. He is so mean to me now and always calls me names. He only talks to me to fight or put me down. he says i did this to myself. How did i do this to myself. he cheated on me and gave me a STD and the worse part is that i think he still cheats. I cry alot because of him. We still dont live to gether but live closer then before.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:00 AM on Oct. 23, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • DROP this guy like a hot potato and don't look back. This is emotional abuse and NOT a healthy relationship. I agree with the statement that cheaters will always blame the SO or spouse for their own behavior because they are cowards. This behavior will not change, it will only get worse. Cut your loses now and move on. I have been a victim of physical, emotional, and verbal abuse and I played the victim for a long time afterwards. Then through counseling I learned that I was no longer the victim so I refuse to act like one any more. Although there are times where we really are a victim of what happens to us, I also believe in a situation like this, he is only treating you the way YOU ALLOW him to treat you. So put your foot down, don't take it anymore, get strong and leave him!
    TarLion

    Answer by TarLion at 11:26 AM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • Now that he has the chance to see me more he doesnt want to. he said he needs to work to make money. He does give me money so i ithink he thinks that makes it ok to treat me bad and call me names. I honestlly feel like he hates me and wishes i would go away but he married me so i'm his responsibillity. He see's me as a person that I am not.. i am not a ho or a slut. I dont cheat on him. I stay in the house and take care of my kids and when i did go out i wasnt sleeping with other men. How can i get him to understand that im not the person he thinks i am?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:02 AM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • just try to move away from him and it sounds like he needs help. how are you a slut or whore because he cheated? he would be right? and he gave u a std i mean wtf. thats abuse try to stay away from him i know that might be hard if you have kids but do what you have to do and have you ever heard once a cheater always a cheater? good luck dont let him bring you down

    firstimemomm603

    Answer by firstimemomm603 at 9:05 AM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • Try to move on forget him why would you want to live that kind of life knowing he is feeding you all kinds of negativity. Move on girl and stay gone. GL
    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 9:06 AM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • It's easy to say just leave him but I can't. I need him and he knows it. It's so easy to throw the be that independent women but it's not so easy. not because i can't get a job but because working fulltime and being a mom is really hard and i have children failing in school because of it. I've been home for a few weeks and the grades are already getting better. I cry at night but my kids are doing alot better. It just sucks. i wish he would stop treatin me bad and just be nice to me. I'm not asking for everything. I just want to feel wanted and loved. I honestly dont think he loves me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:14 AM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • it does not sound like it. if he did love you why would he treat you this way or cheat on you? it will be hard to leave or whatever ask him to go to counseling. have you told him how you feel?

    firstimemomm603

    Answer by firstimemomm603 at 9:17 AM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • Um, yea, as long as you keep up with this, he will treat you badly. Untill he recognizes it AND wants to change you will be treated like dirt. The question is, are you going to let him or not?
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 9:24 AM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • okay what he is doing is trying to justify what he did to you by making you look like the wrong one. In his mind if he believes you cheated.......it gives him somewhat comfort to know what he did wasn't so bad. Truthfully he probably knows you didn't but if he admits it that way then he is so wrong. Men are wired so differant. He is gonna treat you like this so long as your dependant on him. In my honest opinion and I do know its hard but file for divorce, get child support, and get a part time job and I think you would do just fine. You need some bounderies he is able to call you whenever and say whatever, you need to make it to were he can only call the kids.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:24 AM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • Yes i tell him all the time. He thinks i did this to myself. He is very jealous I can't have any male friends and any that i even spoke to he acccused me of sleepng with them. i had a guy friend way younger then me and we spoke a few times on the phone. mostly about his preg Gfriend and i told him to man up. he accused me of sleeping with him. I met someone at Mcdonalds he dropped a sandwicch and i picked it up and we spoke for a few minutes he said my kids are cute basic stuff. I told him where i lived and he stopped by my job. I gave him the cold shoulder and he got the hint. I told him about this but i slept with him because im a whore. I didnt do anything wrong. It's like i am not allowed to speak or look at any men because HE CHEATED ON ME.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:26 AM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • So, he cheated on you & treats you shit. Why are you even asking? Move on, move on....
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:53 AM on Oct. 23, 2009