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I Need Help!!

Please tell me i'm not the only woman going through this .Ladies maybe you can help me I've been with my live in boyfriend for 3 yrs(we have been living together for 2 and a half yrs now) and when i do something i guess that he doesn't agree with, i get compared to his ex and his babymama. all i ever hear is ..when i was with the other 2 they never did that or whatever it maybe be sometimes its just asking a simple question or telling him my feelings .my thing is i'm tired of being compared to his exes maybe i don't see it the way he do but last time i checked it didn't work out with them so why would i want to be like them. So my thing is i think he's not over either one of them so ladies give me some feedback please.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:32 PM on Oct. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • It sounds to me like either he is not over them, or that you are very different than them and he'd rather be with someone like them. Not that you're not a good person, please don't think I'm criticizing you. It's like chocolate and vanilla ice cream. You think vanilla is ok, but given your choice you want chocolate. I'd sit down with him and tell him how you feel, that you're tired of being compared to them and that he either needs to accept you as you are, flaws and all, or he needs to go be with his exes or another girl like them, b/c you don't need his criticism.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 2:36 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • Ok first of all have u talked to him about this? Have you told him that this makes you feel bad? You made a very valid point also about it not working out with them so why would you want to be like them. Point that out to him also. Ask him how he would like it if you compared him to other men you dated.
    Jguevara

    Answer by Jguevara at 2:36 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • Sounds like my ex. We haven't been together for over 10 years and he still brings up things he "thought" I did to him back then, to his now wife. Blames me for all their issue's and so on. Recently his current wife has put it all together and figured out he's not over it or he wouldn't continue to bring it up. I am the root of all their problems, which to her and I is HIS problem and he should have never moved on until he was over it all.

    Simply put, hes not over it!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:37 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • I would tell him "If you want your ex girlfriend, then call her. Sorry to disappoint you, but I am a completely different human being than she is. Hope you can cope with that"
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 2:59 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • Sounds like an asshole to me. He should be with you because of who you are. Also seems like he's not too good at the relationship thing. Dump him.
    MomEof2mj

    Answer by MomEof2mj at 3:18 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • He needs to stop. He needs to begin his sentences with "I would like it if you..." or "It would be great if we could...." Instead of, "She used to......" I hate it when guys tell you that you need to be doing something to make them happy. NO they need to step up and pitch in the effort in the relationship. I dont know if he is over them or not but it sounds like he is kind of lazy and he wants you to give 100% to make him happy. That is not a relationship. He sounds unhappy with himself.
    3gigglemonsters

    Answer by 3gigglemonsters at 3:27 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

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