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what would you do if you was in my shoes

my father had raped me at the age of 4 and we didnt speek till i was 18 when i was at his mothers. she had hired an invistagater to find me well here i am 25 and pregnant with his first grandbaby and his family hasnt had anything to do with me at all but i have a baby shower comeing up and had gottin the addresses and want to invite them well turns out he wants to come to and be apart of his grandsons life would you let him see him or would you just mail pictures and say how things are goin

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:05 PM on Oct. 23, 2009 in Pregnancy

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • That's one of those things where I would probably have to be in the situation bc things like to me have alot to do with my feelings toward the person.
    Maybe like "supervised visits" and he should understand considering the circumstances between the two of you.
    misspriss_1987

    Answer by misspriss_1987 at 3:30 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • It all really depends on your comfort level. How would you feel if he were there? Etc.
    Me personally? No, I wouldn't allow it initially... I would probably gradually let him in, but for now, he'd have to do with getting pictures and emails.
    K_Sawyer

    Answer by K_Sawyer at 3:09 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • if it were me, no way om hell would i let him anywhere near my kid! no pictures, no nothing. especially bc i have a daughter. i dont care how much he says he has changed, no way.

    there are certain members of our family that we have estranged from for similar reasons, and they know if they so much as touch my childs hand i would kill him myself.
    erika_wright

    Answer by erika_wright at 3:14 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • Probably not. My uncle molested me when I was little and I will NEVER let him alone with my daughter (or son if I had one) for even 5 minutes. I won't go out of my way to visit him, either. If I see him during family functions, then fine, but otherwise, no thanks.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:17 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • My father raped me when I was 14. I repressed it, and never thought about it until I had my daughter. After she was 2 months old, something just clicked in my head, and he has not seen her or me since.


    I would say at this point that if you have forgiven your father for what he has done to you, and you are past it and want to be involved with his family, then go ahead and let him be involved, but NEVER leave him alone with your child.

    Also, be aware that after you have this child, your mind might change and you may (once again) never want to speak to him ever again.
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 3:22 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • He is a child-molester. If I were you I wouldn't let him anywhere near my child for his/her own safety.
    MommyKKay

    Answer by MommyKKay at 3:22 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • Hell No. I cant even believe you are asking this question. He is a child molester.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:52 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • I would have nothing to do with him ever again. No phone calls, no letters, no emails. And he was never, ever get to see what his grand children look like.

    He's a child molester. Those type of people don't just reform. He may even want contact so he can molest his grand kids.
    ThrivingMom

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 3:58 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • Apparently, according to the Mom's on Cafe Mom your father should be physically tortured. How do you feel about that?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:00 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • No. I would not see, speak or acknowledge him. And it would he a cold day before he laid eyes on my child. No.
    khedy

    Answer by khedy at 4:56 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

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