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Please help, I feel like I'm doing everything wrong.

My husband is in the armed forces and is away. I had our daughter 6 days ago and I'm just completely exhausted and I'm feeling like a failure. She's amazing, she is, but she never stops crying. Ever. I don't know what to do, I really don't. I check everyhting when she cries, but there's nothing I can find that's wrong sometimes. SO I hold her. But she carries on. And I've got no-one to help me. I rang my mother yesterday to ask for help, but she hasn't talked to me since I got pregnant since she's still angry. So would it be possible for a few of you ladies to give me some tips? Sorry to ask I'm just exhausted and I just feel horrible. Sometimes I feel like my daughter hates me.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:03 PM on Oct. 23, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (20)
  • Shes probably colic so you might want to talk to her doctor and they have things to help for that

    Answer by ILovemyson1020 at 5:05 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • Find HELP! She doesnt hate you. If you feel like crap and are depressed, she will to... try to chill out and see if you can find a mom's group in your area or someone that can help you out. Might try talking to your OB. Could be a bit of PPD...

    Answer by Mamakat90 at 5:07 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • No Mama, your baby girl does NOT hate you. It's true that she should not cry nonstop and you should check w/the dr about colic like Ilove myson said but the other thing is that she can feel your stress. You need to relax mama. You just had a baby 6 days ago and you are all alone? If your mom is not there for you, is ther noone who can help you? A good break, even just from holding her to take a long shower etc can do wonders. Are you nursing or formula feeding? I ask because if formula, perhaps its not agreeing w/her and you could switch. These are all things to talk to the dr about. Have you been to the pediatrician yet and if so when do you go back? We Mama's on here are here for you. I wish I could jump through the screen and scoop you both up!

    Answer by momrocks1000 at 5:11 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • The first few weeks are really tough! Are you breastfeeding? If so, how is that going? I had a rough time in the beginning and until baby and I got the hang of it, she cried a lot. If not, what formula do you have her on? If she's crying all the time, it could be that the formula is upsetting her stomach. Try one that is for sensitive tummies. If that doesn't help, try one that is soy based. Other common issues at this age are gas and burping. They're systems just aren't developed enough to effectively get air out. Try pedaling her legs like a bicycle and see if that helps calm her or get gas out. Also, you can lay her down in your lap with her head resting on one thigh and her tummy resting on the other thigh. This adds a little pressure to her tummy and might relieve gas pains. Also, get yourself some Mylicon Drops...they are perfectly safe and pass through baby's system completely undigested. cont'd below...

    Answer by ANGIE409 at 5:11 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • I really feel for you! The first few days are rough and having to cope with it all alone would be very stressful. If you really have no one nearby to help, try calling a local church and see if they can provide you with support. Just tell them just what you told us - I know that if there were someone near me who just needed 1/2 hour-1 hour of help I would gladly go by to give a new mom a break!

    Answer by missanc at 5:14 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • <3 yes, try gas drops. Earphones maybe :) She sounds colicky, it will pass.

    Answer by staciandababy at 5:15 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • Thanks for the advice ladies, I'm the person who posted the question. No we're living in AZ at the moment and there's quite literally no-one around here who I know except for my mother. I am breastfeeding, and it's taking a bit of getting used to, definitely. Thanks again.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:15 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • ...You can give Mylicon drops as often as every feeding if necessary. Gripe Water is also really good for helping get rid of gas and burps...get something with Oil of Fennel & Sodium bicarbonate in it and as few other ingredients as possible. Make sure you burp your baby frequently...newborns typically do best sitting up in your lap with your hand supporting their head and a gentle pat on the back (or a gentle bounce on the knee). Over the shoulder works best for others and face down in your lap works for others...its trial and error here. Sleep is also important...a baby who doesn't get enough sleep will cry and cry...a swing or a bouncer with movement and that keeps baby on a slight incline might work well. Other babies like the vibrate feature on a bassinet or pack n play...other babies like to be snugly swaddled. Feel free to email me if you like for some support. You're not alone.

    Answer by ANGIE409 at 5:15 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • What part of AZ?

    Answer by ANGIE409 at 5:17 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • We just moved to the Phoenix area is why I ask and we don't know many people either.

    Answer by ANGIE409 at 5:18 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

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