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Kids from two different fathers???

Is there a legal way, short of adoption by the current husband to assure that my children could remain together if something were to happen to me? A little history.. I have a child by my first husband and a set of twins by my cureent husband. Sons father will not sign away his parental rights so that hubby can adopt him. SO is there a legal way I can put it in a will and my kids be raised by my current husband? Yes I know I should call a lawyer and ask them which I have an appt to do so. But I would like to know of all my options so that I have time to think them over.

 
t_06_twins

Asked by t_06_twins at 5:57 PM on Oct. 23, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 12 (862 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • In NY it doesn't matter what is in your will if the other boilogical parent is living they automatically get custody of the child. That's what a lawyer told me a few years ago. We asked because DS had a terrible relationship with his father and loves my DH (we have lived with him since DS was 11 months) as he got older and many family members died in 2 years he started asking "mommy what if you die, do I have to live with my father or can I live with daddy?" so I asked a lawyer what we could do and was told the only thing would be to have bio sign off and DH adopt DS which finally happened when DS was 13-14 (the process took a year).
    goaliemom93

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 6:36 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • I don't think so. If the father will not sign rights he will have rights if you die. You can put your wishes, but it is possible they won't do it. I did that though, with my DD, if I die I want my parents to raise her, and if not raise her at least have partial custody/visitation. Not because my SO isn't a good dad, we are together and he is a great dad, but it would kill my parents to not see her, and he would be just fine.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:58 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • If the father that won't sign over rights is not active in your child's life (doesn't visit or pay child support) you may be able to have his rights revoked. As long as the biological father has parental rights I don't think you can designate anyone else to have custody of your son in the event of your death. I know this is a tough situation. I hope the lawyer will be able to give you more options.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:06 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • That is my big problem....my first hubby does not live a good lifestyle. He is in jail right now for 6 months. Due to his lifestyle.
    t_06_twins

    Answer by t_06_twins at 6:07 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • I have a friend who was left his daughter & her 1/2 sister when their mom died. It was put in her will. He usually took both of them on his weekends. Parental rights over ruled the will. The sister was placed with her father.
    motherofhope98

    Answer by motherofhope98 at 6:20 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • If your ex is in jail and has a questionable lifestyle, I'd see about having parental rights terminated since he's obviously not paying child support or seeing the child.
    Andrewsmom70

    Answer by Andrewsmom70 at 6:29 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • Even if you do put it in a will, the child's father can fight it in court. Did I miss why you don't want your ex to have your son if something happens to you?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:38 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • In response to Anon 938....I don't want my ex to have him due to the lifestyle that he leads which is also the reason why we got divorced. He is in jail at this time for 6 months. He has been in and out of jail every year since we split up. I just don't want my son raised around the crap that he does.
    t_06_twins

    Answer by t_06_twins at 3:50 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

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