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How would u handle this with your child

My son is in the 7th grade and he tried out for the basketball team and made it his bestfriend went out and didn't make it this childs mother and I are bestfriends and now we are getting catty comments such as u have to have money to be picked which we don't have money by no means and you have to have the right last name which we are just the average Joe this child called mine a fag and his mom didn't bother to correct him.I fill really bad the her child didn't make the team but I am not going to make my child fill bad for makeing it and I talked to my son to make sure he didn't say anything to offend his friend he even told his friend I am sorry u didn't make it because I thought u done a great job and the other child told him to shut up.I should also add I am there landlord and they live next door which was working out real well until now what would u do? thanks for your in put

 
mom2fivekids579

Asked by mom2fivekids579 at 9:22 PM on Oct. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Level 5 (86 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • You can't make anyone else do anything but you can have a talk with your friend. This is just one of many things that can come between moms and boys. I would let her know that this is uncomfortable just because one son made it and not the other and that it is driving a wedge between you and your sons when you talk about it. Ask her if you and she can keep these things off the table and focus on what is good for your friendship and the boys' friendship. Your son seems like a nice boy and you could share this stradegy with him so he and his friend can work it out. Hopefully, when the hurt is less, the friend will see things differently.
    happi-ladi

    Answer by happi-ladi at 10:12 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • There boys. I think they're all going to act like this. Your being over protective because the kid called your kid a fag. You cant get mad at every kid that calls your kid a name. But, the mother shouldn't be like that to you. Some kids are better qualified for somethings than others.
    SaraP1989

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 9:25 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • wow. I think I'd just tell your child that unfortunately this child and his family are a showing an example of poor sportsmanship, and that he doesn't have anything to feel bad about. Not everyone can make the team, and not everyone is athletically inclined. I personally have no idea how to throw a football or what the rules of basketball are. My kids can rattle them off no problem and have tried numerous times to show me how to throw a football. Just tell your son that he did a great job and should be proud that he made the team, and that at this point, he's done what he can to make things ok, and that apparently his friend wants to continue to show poor sportsmanship, so maybe your son should back off the friendship a bit until the other child gets over it. Congrats to your son!
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 9:26 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • sadly some moms act like this ( i am going through something similar) you have to just keep going on and try to let it pass, I tell my son to keep being friendly but when the other child baits him with nasty comments to let it go. what we did is started talking to the dad of the child and the friend and he had no idea what was going on and he took our side. Is there a dad that maybe your husband could talk to ? just man to man guy talk? it worked for us of course the friend and i are still not talking and probably never will but at least the kids are working it out.
    3_ring_circus_

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 9:33 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • Don't even get involved in it. It's a kids sports game, that's all. The kids will work out their feelings among themselves. Leave it alone, it has nothing to do with their tenancy.
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 9:37 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • Aw, I'm sorry to hear that his friend AND yours are being such poor sports. Probably, when the season is over, things will go back to normal for you.
    HomeMakin94

    Answer by HomeMakin94 at 9:52 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • I would be worried about the derogatory comment.I would explain to my son that being gay is not a bad word.
    boogernoodle

    Answer by boogernoodle at 11:34 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

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