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Wait... I am a bad mom for having a clean house?

The "how do you judge a mom with a messy house" question got me a bit irritated!

I purge the kids toys 3-4 times a year. Same with clothes; thats usually twice a year (after summer, after winter) . I wash dishes as I cook, run the dishwasher every night, unload it every morning, and do a load of laundry once a day at least. Fold while I watch some DVR'd TV. I clean the toys and bedrooms every morning and night, because I dont like clutter. Basically I dont let things ever pile up. But that doesnt mean we dont play.. we play all day. I have a 2yo and 4yo.. they make messes all day, and we clean as we go.

Now, I know I am a slightly anal person but I do not "have way too much time on my hands" as was implied on the other post. Rather, I have no spare time because I spend it keeping a tidy house!

My question is: why the animosity? I dont understand why "tidy moms" are "bad moms" or not "fun moms" as some implied.

Answer Question

Asked by LuminousMom at 9:35 PM on Oct. 23, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (40)
  • And... on the flip side, I dont care what anyone elses house looks like, unless its UNCLEAN.. and "tidy" and unclean are two different things. To me, unclean is infestations.. mold... dust an inch thick.. food in places food shouldnt be.. so on and so forth. Not toys laying around or messes kids make.. thats just our life as moms! I get that. I was depressed last winter and Toys inhabited every inch of the floor because I was too tired to clean them.. so I dont judge anyone for their house unless its unsafe. Why is this such a snippy subject for people?

    Answer by LuminousMom at 9:38 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • Uh...that's ridiculous. A clean house is a safe, sanitary, healthy, and happy house. That doesn't make you a bad mom. On the contrary....I think it's not only a better environment to raise your kids in, but it sets a good example and a standard for your kids. :-)

    Answer by HomeMakin94 at 9:44 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • WOW... I just had a ? for you I do pretty much all the same and my kids are VERY WELL tended to and played with but heres my ? I havent gotten around to throwing out toys and I need to so how do you do it and not feel guilty??
    I do the clothing thing and my home is immaculate but the freakin toys are everywhere but when I go to chuck them I feel bad?? help me out

    Answer by MELRN at 9:46 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • omg. im totally with you i am like you a tidy house clean as we go i tell my boys lets clean up so we can play . i probably clean all day and play all day im a full time mom and you are so not a bad mom!

    Answer by rosepetalluv at 9:48 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • You are a bad mom. How do you keep a clean house and still play with your kids? :-) I am just kidding. It just so happens that I am a jealous mom!! I wish I was better at keeping the house straightened. I am getting better especially since our house is up for sale and it has to be spotless every other day for these constant showings!! (The moms who think you are bad are probably jealous!)

    Answer by micheledo at 9:58 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • Who cares what others think, and dont take anything personal. I would love to be like you!!!! I try but get sidetracked. You are very blessed and your children , I assume are well behaved, because in most organized clean homes the children are well behaved as well. Clutter makes me crazy and makes children crazy too.

    Answer by Newbegginings04 at 10:02 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • I wish I could keep a clean house, I honestly just don't have the physical health to do both so I have to prioritze and sometimes that means my son has to play alone so that I can make our home a sanitary place to live. If you can do it all, and it sounds like you are, that's amazing and I wish I could be you. I'm jealous, you sound like a wonderful mother and anyone who has said differently is just plain ignorant.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:11 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • you rockHaters are EVERYwhere! Haters: don't hate! Appreciate and celebrate! I wish we were friends; maybe I'd be more inspired to keep a more tidy house... YOU GO, Girl!


    Answer by jonosmama at 10:16 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • oh OP! i need to take lessons from u! lol i cannot figure out how to get things organized enough to have a "clean house". its not unclean by ur definition, but it is definitely not tidy either. I have 4 kids 5, 4, 2 and 3 months. I also home school. so with all of the normal mom chores and the home school, its practically impossible to keep the house clean let alone spotless. Any tips?


    Answer by lovelyli217 at 10:26 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • Extremes are bad - .the kind that don't allow any fun for fear of a mess.

    ...or on the opposite end of the spectrum is a house that's just a health hazard.

    I'm guessing most of us are somewhere in the middle and may have times when it's more clean and times when it's more messy...and maybe some feel very defensive about the way they run their house

    ....but to me, that's not needed - if you're somewhere in the middle, you seem to be doing a pretty darn good job to me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:42 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

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