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what to do about an angery child

my son is six and get angery about every thang i talk to him and tell him if somethink is on his mind then he can always tell me but he dont like to talk about it i worried he is gonig to keep everythang in and at once i need help.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:00 PM on Oct. 23, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (4)
  • You need to teach him how to manage his anger.

    I have an angry son. When he was about your son's age I designated a spot for him for when his temper flares up. He would sit in this spot until he got his temper under control. While in this spot, no one was allowed to talk to or bother him, this includes parents and siblings.

    He got to sit in his spot, undisturbed, until he was visibly calm. When visibly calm I would ask him "Are you calm now?". If he answered with any hint of anger he stayed there longer. It was NOT punishment. It was to help him. And it worked.

    He hit a point where he would just go sit in his spot when he felt he was getting angry.
    He was able to eventually decide when he could leave the spot.
    He's 8 now and he probably hasn't sat in that spot even once for the past 6 months.

    Will it work for your child? I don't know. But if you felt like I did, you'll at least try it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:17 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • Give him the skills to deal with his anger. Teach him acceptable ways to deal with his anger. Punching his pillow, screaming into his pillow. Going for a walk around the yard, squeezing a stress ball, reading, taking a bath or shower. Talking it out with someone. When he handles his anger appropriatley, make sure to praise him. Tell him that if he acts inappropriatley, he will be in his room and not able to do anything. If it gets out of hand, have him evaluated and put him in anger management counseling. It works wonders, my son was about 6 when he first went to anger management and he went again at 11 yrs old. He is now 13 and deals with is anger very well. It wasn't an easy process, but well worth it.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 12:01 AM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • Angry in what way? You are concerned so I am going to assume this is not "typical" anger. The thing about anger is this is not our FIRST emotion. Anger is secondary. Other emotions lead to anger. We are embarrassed so we get angry. We are sad so we get mad we are sad. We are hurt, shamed, frustrated.....we show anger. But kids (really adults too) don't understand their primary emotion. We skip over it and focus on behavior. Good for you that you realize anger is not the issue. The issue is what is behind the anger. Sometimes we can do this at home and sometimes we have to do this with a professional. At home: teach about feelings and it being okay to have lots of feelings. Some feel good and some make us feel not so good. Explain where anger comes from - the other feelings that lead to anger. Give examples. Go to your library and check out age appropriate books on anger for you to read to him at bed. Make it

    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 9:27 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • relaxing. Low key. Talk about your feelings. Don't burden a child with adult issues but role model how to handle feelings that feel icky. When they occur say things like, "I'm so mad right now because someone hurt my feelings. I need to just go in my room and scream into my pillow." Or other examples. I tell my child I'm frustrated so I need an adult time out or I need my personal space. There are a ton of parenting books with chapters that deal specifically with this one issue. If something doesn't strike you as being on target or not helping it is okay to get short term professional help.  I promise therapists don't bite.

    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 9:30 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

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