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I need some advice......

My sons father was in prison for the last 4 years and just got out in August. He wants to see his son, but my husband was layed off of work last November and money has been so tight so i have been thinking about telling him to pay child support in order to see him. He is on disability and has been his whole life and he keeps saying his son is his #1 priority but he is living with my brother right now paying $300 for rent and then i just found out today he moved his new girlfriend in and is paying $200 a month for her which leaves him with $100 dollars not even that after he pays his phone bill. It doesn't sound like he is trying to hard and i was going to let him see him without paying but i need the extra money. What do you think i should do? I know if he takes me to court it will just be a quicker way to make him pay but i really didn't want the hasle. Any advice would be appreciated....


Asked by jnsdrf at 1:18 AM on Oct. 24, 2009 in Relationships

Level 20 (8,954 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • i understand where you are coming from, but if he really wants to see he son age 4 now???? then he has to prove that he is gonna help you with him and be a good influence. if his son is his # 1 priority then we wouldnt be paying for his new girlfriend to live with him, he would be giving that money to you or going and buying the little boy things he needs. I dont think it would be a good idea for you to just let him have your son to see, i mean if he has never met him or seen him in a while he will freak out if u leave him byhimself. just my advice, but it is your decision. good luck.

    Answer by Dusti3 at 1:51 AM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • 1. Is he a safe person to be alone with the baby? if yes, that's his baby. If no, arrange for visits with a supervisor, maybe his mom.
    2. To request child support is your right to help raise the baby. Whether he is able to pay it is another story but you can try.
    3. Either you want him in the baby's life or you do not. If you do not, don't use it to get the child support. If you do, then let him spend time with the baby regardless of the payments.

    Just my opinion. I am not divorced/ do not have experience, just my thoughts. take care, hun :)

    Answer by TXdanielly at 1:21 AM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • I agree. Do not tie seeing him to money. Doesn't sound like he has much anyway. If you want to try to get some child support from him, go ahead. But, do not tell him he cannnot see his son unless he pays you.

    Answer by Southernroots at 1:28 AM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • I've been in your shoes. Being in prison for four years he must have done something awful. I'd suggest talking to him kindly and saying that you understand his prediciment but that to protect him and yourself you'd like to have arrangements obtained. Have some papers written up that state you are willing to allow X amount of hours of supervised visitation a week. Make it very clear what the guidelines are. Then make sure to file with the attorney general for child support. They take into consideration his income. If he is on disability he was probably still getting the checks injail and four years worth are sitting somewhere collecting dust, right??

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:35 AM on Oct. 24, 2009