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Do you get annoyed when DH is...

So needy you get no you time? My DH often stays up late to have his time and his whines for me to stay up to yet when I do he doesn't cuddle talk any thing Then we go to bed and he wants to have sex. I find out thats the only reason he had me stay. When I don't stay up he whines and calls me mean and other things. . Other times I will want to stay up alone and get some me time with out kids or DH and he will either wait up whining the whole time lets go to bed if I do he wants sex. If I don'tIf I don't he calls me selfish and we fight and both end up pissed. What do you think?

 
hot-mama86

Asked by hot-mama86 at 6:01 AM on Oct. 24, 2009 in Relationships

Level 26 (29,263 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • First off, let him know that if you don't want sex then that's the end of it. You don't pressure him for it he shouldn't be doing that to you either.

    Second, you could try a few different approaches to solve your problem. If he wants to stay up and you want to go to bed, you could initiate sex (if you WANT to) before hand, then maybe he won't complain when you want to go to sleep.

    If you want to stay up and he wants to go to bed, you could go upstairs, have sex (again only if you WANT to) and then leave the room and have your alone time.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:28 AM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • I think that both of you need to sit and talk about this. Calling each other names isn't going to work and just like with our kids, whining isn't going to work and it's teaching the kids to do it too if they're hearing it.
    Make a schedule for some "me time" for both of you. Have a date night or something. Maybe while he's staying up ignoring you, maybe you could be soaking in a hot bubble bath to get ready since you know he's going to want sex? Or maybe the two of you could, that way there's no distractions and you can have some "us" time before going to bed.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 6:39 AM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • Each of you is more concerned for your own needs and wants than you are for what the other needs and/or wants, and this is a recipe for disaster as far as your marriage is concerned. Just remember that problems in marriage are never 100% to 0% as far as blame is concerned. Were I you, I would be asking myself what I could do to make him feel more like cuddling and doing the things you want him to do. Just putting distance between the two of you will never solve the real problems.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:44 AM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • well if your like me with 3kids under age 5 then yea at the end of the day i want to go to sleep my hubby is alot like a child too so iknow what your feeling i still aint solved my problem maybe you could add me as a friend and we could figure it out together if you want
    Redneckmomma19

    Answer by Redneckmomma19 at 10:27 AM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • We do that sometimes. Not so much recently. I usually have trouble falling asleep but i have mono so i have been out before he even gets home recently.
    jmetz4

    Answer by jmetz4 at 1:41 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

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