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Am I wrong?

Im 42 single mom of three...the only family I have here is my ex husband and his parents. My parents live 8 hours away. Well back when I was younger in my 20s I had a house that I shared with some friends and I would look out side and my mom would be sitting out watching..this happend alot. They always like to tell me what to do and how to raise my kids. Last time they were here they got mad cause I go out when the kids are with dad..my kids told them and made it like I do it all the time..even when they are with me. Well my mom called the other day and said they are coming up and looking at houses to move here. I told her NO...I liked things the way they were and if they moved here I would move away. They have always been controlling and liked to tell me what I do wrong. Another ex is I colored my hair auburn..mom tells me I look like a floozie...what mom says that to their daughter? How would you feel?

Answer Question
 
angie729

Asked by angie729 at 11:32 AM on Oct. 24, 2009 in Relationships

Level 5 (67 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • You have the right to live without them hovering over you and auburn isn't a floozy color. Tell your mom that was just hurtful. I'm an auburn and I think she's wrong. She needs to learn to keep her opinions to herself. I don't blame you for not wanting to live near her
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:38 AM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • It's sad your mother behaves the way she does. She must love you and your children if she wants to move 8 hours away to be near you. You may be able to save your relationship with her.

    Reading some communication books and using the skills might work. How to Talk so Kids Will Listen can also work with adults. Another good book is Don't Shoot The Dog by Karen Pryor.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 11:39 AM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • Tell her that you were looking at houses in her area and wanted to move closer to where they are. Then keep updating her on your search, but never really do it. That might buy you some time?

    I don't know, good luck though. You have every right to want to be left alone. You are a grown woman and have done just fine without her for all these years.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 1:12 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • She is wrong, not you. Her behavior seems more about control than love. Maybe it's time to tell her that you are the adult and you are your children's mother, not her and that she doesn't get to give you unsolicited advice about everything from your hair color to your children. I think you did the right thing telling her you don't want her to move there, especially if she can't respect your boundries. Don't bend on that. Good luck.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 1:34 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

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