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My ex told me that I have no reason to be afraid of him... am I overreacting?

I have told him time and time again to leave me alone, that I don't want to be with him because he scares me and being with him is just not what I want anymore but he wouldn't take that as a good reason. He has been bugging me for a month (calling, texting, emailing, messaging) and he tells me that I am playing games with him because I didn't delete his myspace friend request so I can check up on him and because of that reason, I am confusing him about wanting to be with him... I have looked at him myspace a couple times out of curiousity but this is something he wouldn't know about and it's not because I want to be with him. This morning he stopped out my house before work and asked me about being with him, I told him I did not want to anymore and this is when he accused me of not leaving him alone and checking up on him and that I had no reason to be afraid of him.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:27 PM on Oct. 24, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (17)
  • Delete him on myspace and go your separate ways and ignore him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:29 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • OP here - I forgot to mention that when he was at my house this morning, I deleted his myspace right infront of him and he told me "now who's crazy?" I have been trying my hardest to ignore him but on friday and saturday, my son stay with my parents and this is when he stops by and won't leave me alone... I did respond yesterday telling him that he better not stop by my house cause I will call the cops and he told me to quit threatening him and kept asking why I hate him so much... he saw me at the bar (I ignored him the whole time) and wouldn't stop calling and stopping by after that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:34 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • Delete him dont answer his phone calls emails texts and ect. Dont even answer the door if he comes again.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:36 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • If you are scared of him than maybe you should listen to yourself. You already have your answer. What does your gut tell you. So many times have we overlooked our gut instinct and paid for it later on. Just listen to it the first time.

    Answer by Steff107 at 12:40 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • When he comes over stay in the house. Don't talk to him or yell at him. Don't answer the phone when its him. If he comes to a bar then don't ignor him, leave.

    He can't ask you stuff if you aren't going out of your house or answering the phone.

    Answer by Gailll at 12:46 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • All suggestions are good ones. I would stop immediately going to the bars he goes to and like disappear. You may want to stay with a friend for a couple of weeks and not even be home. A restraining order can help. Be very careful. I knew a girl that had a bunch of friends move her out of the house while this guy was a work. He scared her, and she left town. The next girlfriend he had she broke up with him. He stalked her. She left her apartment one morning and he forced her back inside. He shot and killed her. Then he killed himself. I did not know the girl. His name was Frank and this happened in Baytown, Texas several years ago. Situations like this can have serious consequences. Be smart, and be safe. Review what all these ladies are telling you and take their good advice. Good Luck, and be careful.

    Answer by SEEKEROFSHELLS at 12:55 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • OP here - After he showed up the first time and left, I left my house and parked my car so he couldn't find me... I just wanted to go home and sleep because I had to work today... I finally went home and he showed up again and he wouldn't leave... he was knocking on my door then my bedroom window, finally I told him that I was calling the cops and he left (the harassment lasted from 11:30pm-1:00am) He found out I didn't show up for work by his co-worker and showed up to my house right as I was walking out the door and getting into my car and that is when I told him that I was done... we shook on it and I hope to god that he leaves me alone from now on.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:04 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • Trust your feelings. He is scaring you, and you wouldn't feel scared of him unless there was a good reason for it. Follow thru on your threat the next time he shows up: call the cops. Do not answer the door, just call the cops. Don't answer his calls anymore. If you don't already have caller id, make the small investment and get it so that you can know when he's calling and yet not have to screen ALL of your calls. Be extra aware when you are out after dark, especially when you are coming home or leaving home in the dark. Make your friends and family aware of your concerns so they can keep any eye on you, and out for him. Don't ignore these feelings.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 1:08 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • Hopefully you are right about being done but with his history of stalking, and it is stalking, it's doubtful he'll just go now. Screen your calls, don't answer the door if he shows up and just call the police if he does. Don't warn him about that. Just call them and it will be on the record that he is harassing you. Do not take this lightly. Be even more careful at night. I can't count the number of times my ex said he'd leave me alone then a couple of days later pops back up. Be careful. This kind of person is unbalanced.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:28 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • Delete him, ignore him , don't answer phone or texts if he doesn't get the message get a restraining order.

    Answer by mommorgan at 1:29 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

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