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Military wives/girlfriends please help!

My boyfriend recently joined the air force and he leaves in January (right around my birthday) :( How can we keep the spark after he leaves? EX: sexy pictures, letters, etc. Any ideas are appreciated! Thank you so much! I am sad but so proud of him.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:29 PM on Oct. 24, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I am assuming that he leaving for Boot camp. The spark is not what my hubby had time for. In boot camp he needs your support. Boot camp is mentally and physically demanding. Send letters daily even if it only about the weather. If you can make it to graduation go and look sexy as hell with out looking slutty. While in tech school, if you have a web cam have fun with it. Letters are wonderful but so is e-mail. Keep in touch and be understanding and supportive. This is a whole new world he is entering. Good luck to you and your BF. The air force is great, mine has been in for nearly 10 years.

    DevilInPigtails

    Answer by DevilInPigtails at 2:39 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • Get Skype (if he has internet)!! Its a program that uses webcams so you can chat via video. Set up a regular calling schedule- whether that be once a week or daily around a certain time. I thought I would do better if DH only called me every couple weeks, but after he left I realized I feel better when he calls me daily. And for a special occasion (like valentines day or his birthday) send him some sexy photos- just of you wearing lingerie (not porn though, they get in trouble for that). Make sure you tell him often how much you miss him, make plans for things to do when he returns, tell him you love him and you are proud of him too. Send non-sexy photos and letters/cards on a regular basis.Good luck!!
    serioussifL

    Answer by serioussifL at 2:39 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • Let him know you miss him, don't make him feel guilty for leaving. Stay upbeat and happy, at least when you talk with him. My hubby is army. He is deployed, but left a bit ago to come home for R&R. We are lucky, we get to talk everyday but his day off. We communicate every day. Communication is very important. It doesn't take long for them to feel like they are missing everything. Send care boxes. Baked goods cheer them up.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 3:13 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • Having gone to basic training I can tell you he has no time for romance. It is tough physically and mentally. Send him care packages that he can share with his buddies, cookies are good idea. We loved it when we saw a box come into the room. Usually that ment someone baked goodies or bags of candy to share. We didn't have much time for standing around eating sweets so the T.I would let the troops share goodies from home during mail call. Don't send him naked pics or too revealing pics. Just regular pictures mean so much. Tell him you are proud of him in letters and don't make him feel guilty about anything. It is hard and such a devoted thing to do for you and for his country. Never say things like your are leaving on MY birthday or what he is missing because of his job. That does not help him, it can cloud his mind and make his job harder to do. Show your support and love.
    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 4:27 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • The spark isn't going to go out just bc he's leaving for the military. Just stay in contact with him via letters and emails that he can get when he gets time. He's going to have a lot on his plate so it's not like he is ignoring you or forgetting about you when you don't hear from him.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:06 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • Not having to do with the spark- but I listened to the "Stay Happily Married" podcast' interview with an author of (book) The Commuter Marriage. one tip she had was to talk about household things, the kids, blah stuff in email only and goooooddd stuff ONLY during the precious phone time you will have with him.

    in other words, dont waste phone time telling him the heater broke.
    TXdanielly

    Answer by TXdanielly at 7:30 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • If he's just going to basic...the "spark" isn't going to be what he needs...he's going to need your support and your love. He's going to need to know that you will be there when its over. This is boot camp...NOT summer camp. Its going to be hard on him. The spark will be something that will come with his appreciation.

    abbynzachsmommy

    Answer by abbynzachsmommy at 8:33 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • During basic, don't worry about the spark... after he's done with that and his MOS school, and he's settled into the regular air force, then you can work on keeping the spark when he leaves. For now, just support him through it.
    Cavalrybaby02

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 8:45 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • Like the pp said the spark doesn't exist in basic. Be upbeat!!! Phone calls are few and far between in basic at least thats how it used to be. Also sexy pics not it basic he will have no privacy. Just try to be available to answer the phone tell him that you miss him but don't dwell on it. Let him talk and make sure you listen.
    mosarmywife

    Answer by mosarmywife at 11:08 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

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