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who has divorece because of you husband being a gamer?

i am just really sad,not knowing what to do,my husband never wants sex all he wants is his stupid game console,we sleep in separate rooms because he snores and i can't sleep,but seriously we live like roommates with the difference that i have to play the role of wife in the house since i'm a SAHM, he is most of the time rude to me, he seems careless if i tell him if he wants me to leave, but there is one thing that holds me, fear of not being able to cope with my life because i know i will not be able to have a normal life without crying all the time, im very prone to depression, then i am not from this country so i can't get a job and i do not want to go back to my country since i have a 5 month old and economy is worse than here,i seriuosly don't know where to run :'(

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:05 PM on Oct. 24, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • My husband works with computers all day, but in his off time is addicted to computer games. For the first 5 years of our marriage if he were home he was playing computer games. He would play from 5:30pm until after 1:00am and then wake up and go to work in the morning. Then he was mean and cranky because he was tired from staying up to play computer games. On Saturday and Sunday he would play all day long...he even ate all of his meals at the computer while playing.

    I finally stopped complaining about his gaming, got hobbies of my own, and became a better wife to him. He changed...and for the better. We've been married for 11 years now. He's a good father and husband. He games about 5 to 7 hours a week now.

    My best advice is become a woman he would rather spend time with than his games. I too am prone to depression & found I have to pull myself out of my funk or he won't want to spend time with me.

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 9:34 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • I would have to agree with ThrivingMom. She has a valid point in the complaining aspect of it all. First and foremost, a man is going to be a man whether you nag or brag is my personal motto. What I mean by this is simple, if you "nag" it will be your fault for complaining/demanding to much or if you "brag" about him it will be because of you that he decided to inquire in other areas or social pools. You must find something that you enjoy that equally if not enormously preoccupies your time as well or try to find at least one or two of your husbands favorite games so that you may interact with him during his gaming time. Most importantly...STOP CLAIMING DEPRESSION! That is just the devil's way of convincing you that you are already defeated. And as long as you are down so is your resilience to be able to fend off bad or negative juju. Pray for serenity, courage and wisdom above all things love. It will soon get better.

    Answer by missinviting at 9:47 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • I never got a divorce because of it but i did break up with my ex because of it. We were together for 7 years and his whole life was the computer. We also slept in seperate rooms so it was definatley like a roommate situation. I was miserable. I felt like the love of his life was his computer and I was only with him for convience. Finally I confided to his friend and he gave me some really sound advice. He told me that this is the crossroads of my life. Do I want to live like this for ever or do I want to move on and be happy and loved. I ended up moving out a week later. It was difficult but worth it in the end. I am now happily married and love my life.

    Answer by drs1206 at 9:49 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • Its difficult for other people to understand if they have never been in that situation. When they play every waking moment on the computer and spend absoultely no time with you it's like being with an addict. It takes a toll on your self esteem and I was really depressed. I know it's really hard but it's time to take control and you deserve to be loved and have someone who wants to spend there free time with you.

    Answer by drs1206 at 9:53 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • this is so true but isn't hard or scary to find someone when you have a kid? i lived in the situation where i grew even before being born with my stepdad and he never loved me so i am really scared it will happen to my lil girl.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:14 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • i agree with drs1206 as soon as my dh gets home from work he's playing WoW until 11 or 12 at night then comes to bed and snores and wakes me up when i have to get up with our 2month old too and i get up and fix dh's lunch at 4:30 every morning, on his days off he don't get up until 12 or 1 in the afternoon then plays the stupid game until 2 or 3 in the morning it's so irritating b/c i do everything with our kids ( 3y/o & 2month old) he dosen't play with them unless our little girl cries for his attention and then he seems annoyed with her or he won't feed the baby while i take a shower or anything he'll let him eat for a minute then take the bottle away and get back on the computer... i feel your pain but the thing is i love him & i gues i'm desparate b/c i crave his attention but the only time i get it is when he is wanting sex...*hugs* i understand but idk what to tell you to do b/c i'm in the same boat as you GL

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:31 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • personally i would see about putting a password on the game system so he can't play and has to focus on the marriage

    Answer by mosarmywife at 11:11 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • I just became a gamer with him. Might as well spend time with him doing stuff he likes...oh and it pisses him off to high hell when I get better than him at a game and then he wants to stop playing b/c I am beating him. He won't play games with me anymore because I can beat him at almost anything on the Wii and he doesn't think it is fair. So if I come home and hes on the Wii, he'll play for maybe 15 or so minutes more and then get off of it before I ask to play too. I did the same thing with football. I hated football but during the late summer, fall and winter months he is glued to the TV on Monday, Sunday and then the Thursday night games when they come on. Instead of bitching I just started to learn the game and now I love football and we have fun watching it together. He still won't get into my photography obsession, or love ot Twilight but I did get him started on Trueblood :) Try playing with him sometime!

    Answer by amyrw at 11:43 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

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