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Can someone explain this logic to me?

Okay, this is really about my SO, currently, he is the only one working, I have been trying to find a job (it is tough out there), and we were/are trying to conceive (ttc), the problem is, I think maybe we should stop ttc (have been for almost 3 years, just got diagnosed with hypothyroidism) until we get back more on our feet, (when I get a job) instead (because unfournately we don't qualify for assistance as is, even though he only makes 7.70 a hour) he thinks we should go ahead, because if we have one more person (a baby) we will qualify for FS/WIC/etc. because of income guidelines etc. Somehow I feel this is wrong but then again i see his point, can anyone help with this dilemna, just to add, he works VERY hard and is a great guy, I just somehow feel this is irresponsible or cheating the system or something.


Asked by Anonymous at 9:34 PM on Oct. 24, 2009 in Trying to Conceive

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • ok, first of all im sorry there are people who answered trying to make you feel bad, ladies: if i am not mistaken she and her husband aren't tying to have a baby JUST so they can be on assistance, her husbands logic is that if SHE DOESN"T find a job that they will be ok because they will qualify for assistance. so he doesn't want to stop trying. they want a baby to add to thier family, not get assitance from the gov IMO: You should maybe stop Trying but not try to prevent it either, if i understand right you are having trouble concieving, which is a hard thing to go through, so I would just sit back relax and if something is gonna happen let it happen, if it doesn't it doesn't, if you can't find a job and have to go on assitance, don't be ashamed, it happens, just know that it won't have to be like that forever and just use it as more motivation to find that job you want......I hope everything works out for you and your family

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:08 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • Why would you try to have a baby just for the government to pay for them. YES you are cheating the system and people like you make me SICK!!!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:42 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • Where are you from? I am also looking for a job.. and YES it is hard out there.. My husband is the only income coming in, but I am actively looking for a job so we ARENT going to stop TTC , We are going to keep trying SINCE I KNOW I will get a job soon and then we can get back on our feet.. I dont think you should try and have a baby just so you can get special assistance.. Maybe find a job at Target or at a MALL.. The holidays are coming and they are going to be hiring like crazy. If you need money that back then work somewhere like that for now.

    Answer by Stefanie1115 at 9:50 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • you dont have kids just to get welfare or more welfare...thats the dumbest thing i've heard.

    Answer by shay1130 at 9:56 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • I don't mean to suggest we are trying to have a baby JUST to get assistance, when we started TTC we both had good jobs, and we managed OKAY with just his income techincally we could get it now (but don't) but it wouldn't be much of anything (maybe 10 dollars) I am actively looking for a job (i had three interviews this week) not just sitting around doing whatever. I did apply at Target, but so far they haven't called. "I" don't agree with his logic that we should keep trying even without me having a job, I don't understand that logic. We do get along OKAY with his income and CAN manage (having a car payment, insurance on two cars, rent, food, etc) but we would be able to qualify for assistance if and when we had a baby (if it were to happen right now).

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:00 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • (OP) OMGOSH thanks so much for actually understanding, my doctor does think my recent diagnosis of hypothyroidism is causing my infertility (me not ovulating or having cycles), which is good in that department (it can also cause other things such as depression, weight gain, and m/c). I really am trying to find a job (since I got laid off in August) but it is tough out there but trying to also focus on being healthier and getting my health issues under control. I'm so NOT one of those people who wants to live off the govt. or have like six kids and expect the govt to take care of them (though I love kids, two or three is the max for me, but still not expecting the govt. to take care of them). thank you anon. for actually understanding.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:15 PM on Oct. 24, 2009