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Do I ask...

Ladies, I am a writer who has written a "what if" book about an ex-boyfriend. Back story. I dumped him because I didn't want to chance being too intimate with him. He never pressured me ever, but for some reason I had this fear we might. So, I dumped him. And not just "I don't want to go out with you anymore". It was brutal on my part.

It's been 10 years since I dumped him. We are both married and have children. He recently became a facebook friend(with the okay from DH). But I wrote and am still writing I guess I should say a "what if" our spouses died and we could fall in love book. Do I tell the ex about it?

All the names are changed, but he knows I'm trying to be a writer. The only benefit I would have from telling him would be an okay to write the whole story. How we went out, I dumped him and then how we each met our spouses....HELP...Do I tell him or risk his wife reading the book & thinks I want her dead and her DH?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:18 PM on Oct. 24, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • My husband wouldn't like it.
    TXdanielly

    Answer by TXdanielly at 11:22 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • WTF, you had your chance 10 years ago and you let it go now you want it, shame on you,
    Advice: find something else to whrite about it.
    GL
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:23 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • you should ask your HUSBAND first not the man you are writing about falling inlove with.
    naturepeace

    Answer by naturepeace at 11:23 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • OP here:

    DH knows about the book. He has read parts of it and is totally fine with it. I'm just wondering if I should tell the ex.

    Thanks for the advise, I'll take it all into consideration.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:30 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • WOW
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:31 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • you specifically told him "im writing about how you died and how i got back with my ex"

    i know my hubby would not be okay with this. i doubt you've told him exactly what the book is about.
    naturepeace

    Answer by naturepeace at 11:33 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • OP here...

    The ex knows I'm a writer...that's it. I've told him about the book I want published but it is a different one from this one.

    DH does know exactly what the book is about. Yup, pretty much about what I told him. He was worried at first, but we've talked a lot about it. Mostly this book has shown me how much I love my husband and wouldn't want anything to happen to him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:40 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • well then iguess go on and tell yourex, but one thing i dont get is how you could even imagine falling in love with someone else if you love your dh so much..its just my opinion tho and im not trying to be rude.
    naturepeace

    Answer by naturepeace at 11:42 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • Yup, pretty much about what I told him

    That doesnt sound like he knows everything. My hubby would be furious and if my husband wrote a book like that I would be pissed. Im sorry to say that but wow if your husabnd is truly ok with this then you got a good husband and i would do nothing to screw our life up. You better think about what you do cause you don't want to lose him. And if you changed your names in the book then there is no reason to tell him it won't matter. And i would not be facebook friends with my ex out of respect for my husband.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:47 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

  • I get it. The best thing to write about is something you know. It flows better and makes it a much more believeable story. You know this guy, you dated, you ended it...thats alot of story right there and its alot that you can feed off of to make a great book. I'd say go with it. But make sure you let him know that names will be changed, this isn't a biography of your relationship and your dreams of the future...it is just creative writing and you had a good backstory to go with it and you ran with it. Most writers do that, they take personal situations, dreams, issues in their day to day life and write on that because that is what makes a good book, something you know.
    amyrw

    Answer by amyrw at 11:47 PM on Oct. 24, 2009

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