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Im pregnant and me and my bf broke up? Its over between us but should I allow him to be a part of the child's life. He abused me emotional, verbal, and physical....

 
survivormama10

Asked by survivormama10 at 12:00 AM on Oct. 25, 2009 in Relationships

Level 10 (492 Credits)
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Answers (11)
  • Um, I vote for NO!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:07 AM on Oct. 25, 2009

  • no it can be more hurtfull to you. If he decided to walk away know when you probably need his support more than ever. let him go.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:18 AM on Oct. 25, 2009

  • You may not have a legal choice in that matter. I know it sucks but if he demands to see the child then you have to prove he will harm the child to keep him from getting visitation.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:27 AM on Oct. 25, 2009

  • I will never understand this! You probably thought he was Prince Charming when you got knocked up by him but now that you broke up he is Mr. Abusive and doesn't deserve to be a father. If he was so freaking bad, why in the hell did you get pregnant by him?

    Just because you think he is an ass or he was terrible towards you does not give you the right to take him away from his child.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:39 AM on Oct. 25, 2009

  • I am generally not in favor of keeping a child from the other parent, no matter what you think of them, unless they might harm the child. However, If he has been abusive towards you, you do need to consider whether or not he might be abusive towards your child, and do all you can to keep your child safe. He may have some legal rights to see his child, but, his rights are less because you are not married. Check with a family law attorney about what rights he might have.
    Southernroots

    Answer by Southernroots at 12:50 AM on Oct. 25, 2009

  • uumm i vote for no too, if he is that way to you it is not safe for him to be around the child.
    Dusti3

    Answer by Dusti3 at 12:52 AM on Oct. 25, 2009

  • "Just because you think he is an ass or he was terrible towards you does not give you the right to take him away from his child."

    That's true, but if he has abused you, you need to consider that your child might not be safe with him either.
    Southernroots

    Answer by Southernroots at 12:52 AM on Oct. 25, 2009

  • I would say no just because you said he abused you, I would be too scared he would do the same thing to my child as well.
    Jacqalyn

    Answer by Jacqalyn at 12:59 AM on Oct. 25, 2009

  • I commend you for being the brighter and more suited CUSTODIAL parent in your current situation first and foremost dear heart. That is a amid choice to make in favor of your unborn child; however, speaking from personal defeats...it is very important that you do this by insisting that it is through supervised visitation preferably by an agency or appointed through the family courts. Do not consent to using a relative or family friend for drop off and/or witness because this will only add fuel to the fire and no one there on your behalf. If you choose to find a visitation facility on your own insist that the father on this child set up and make HIS OWN appointments to visit. This will ensure that he is actually wanting to do right by the child, your not enabling him in his parental responsibilities and that he is seeing the child on his own accord and by his own choice not to just get at you.
    missinviting

    Answer by missinviting at 2:30 AM on Oct. 25, 2009

  • missinviting says true.
    i have also recently been through a custody battle, with a very abusive man. one who should not have access to his children, and was found guilty of child abuse & neglect. he kidnapped his own son, and i am only finding out small portions of what happened, 9 months after having gotten him back.
    regardless of what some of the ninnies on here say, ignore them. i understand how it feels to be abandoned by the baby's father, and to have lived many years with a very abusive man. fortunately i got out with my babies, and my life- which was quite a narrow escape. its not easy, but you can suck it up and move on.
    my ex husband tried to kill me (more than once) when i was pregnant with ds. i left, came back, left... it was pathetic. i honestly was afraid of him, but also, afraid to be without him. don't live that mistake. as for excluding him, legally, you can't. i'm sorry hon, thats the unfortunate truth.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 9:39 AM on Oct. 25, 2009

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