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What do you do when you desire to have another child but your DH doesn't?

We have a two year old son and I am ready for baby #2 but my husband is not. He is very adamant about not wanting more children. I would never get pregnant on purpose and suprise him with an unwanted baby but I am so sad that he is done having kids. I almost feel depressed about it. It doesn't help that 6 friends in the past year have had a baby and today I just found out that there is one more baby on the way for another girlfriend...it's like I am constantly surrounded by babies. How can I move past this? What would you do?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:06 AM on Oct. 25, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • The most important thing a parent can do before making a decision (especially a life changing decision) is ask themselves, "Is this the best thing for my child(ren)?" This is something your husband and you need to ask yourselves. Are you financially and emotionally ready for another baby? Is it the best thing for your son? Is your DH a good father? If your home is unstable financially or emotionally it might not be the best choice to bring another child into it.


    IMO I think kids deserve a sibling and it is the best thing for most kids, as long as the parents can handle it. To me your husband seems to be thinking of himself when making his decision. Have him think about it based solely on the best thing for your son, see what answer and reasoning he has. I hope things work out for your family.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:22 AM on Oct. 25, 2009

  • Did you know he only wanted one kid when you married him?
    SaraP1989

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 1:08 AM on Oct. 25, 2009

  • I can't say for sure what you should do, but here is my story. After our first my husband said the same thing. He swore up and down he did not want another child. He was very serious about it. I knew I wanted more children, but wasn't ready then so I didn't make a huge deal about it. Well about a month before our sons 3 birthday he looked at me one night and said "I know this might sound a little feminine.... but I think I want another baby". Nine months later our second son was born. They are a little more spaced apart than I would have wanted, but it is probably easier in the end to not have a newborn and a toddler.
    I think men have a hard time thinking about the future and admitting that their wants and needs will change over time. I wish I could say for sure that this will happen for your husband. Really the only thing you can do now is be sure he understands how serious you are about wanting more kids.
    AnnaMac

    Answer by AnnaMac at 1:31 AM on Oct. 25, 2009

  • I'm going through the same thing with my hubby. I want baby #3 and he really isn't interested in one at all. I'm just gonna give up and not push anymore. If we are meant to have another child we will and if not I'm happy with my family.
    Annette4797

    Answer by Annette4797 at 1:34 AM on Oct. 25, 2009

  • Let him know that this is your one shot at life and you want to do it right. I have met many people middle-aged and older who regret not having more kids. Many of the people my dad work with are jealous of him since he still has kids at home when most of them have had an empty house for years. He says his youngest kids keep him young. You and your husband both should take a lot of time to really think life through and figure out what you want from it.
    Good Luck!
    AnnaMac

    Answer by AnnaMac at 1:34 AM on Oct. 25, 2009

  • my dh is the same ..kinda. he changes his mind too much. he'll be very adamant about wanting naother but then a month later he only wants our daughter..but i hinestly dont think he minds another becuase we dont use any protection, no bc or condoms..nothing. just give it time he may come around.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:36 AM on Oct. 25, 2009

  • Well you only have one life to live. I would give yourself a dead line for how long you can wait. If he is still stubbern just have a baby and he will come around. Try to be patient as long as you can
    TummyPrincess

    Answer by TummyPrincess at 2:06 AM on Oct. 25, 2009

  • My husband only wanted one child so I respected him and realized if it wasn't right for both of us it shouldn't happen. I am glad I listened to him and respected him. About 3 years ago when our oldest turned 8 he said I know you have wanted more children and I appreciate you not begging me or manipulating me into this important decision like my friends wives have. He said if you want more children I am ready. I told him I was happy with our family as it was and we did not have more children. I love our life and am content and am very glad he was not ready. I could not imagine having 2-3 kids running around. I enjoy spending all my time with my son.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:18 AM on Oct. 25, 2009

  • WOW, why is it people whant the baby becasue everyone else is. They arent toys. My children are 6 1/2 years a part why my husband wasnt ready for another child. Growing up I only wanted one and he didnt want children but after seeing her and knowing she would be better off with a sibbling then we tried and 2 years later our other child came. You know your husband will love the child but really talk about why he doesnt. There is a bigger picture. Does he want to spoil this one, be able to give the child all he wants? It sounds bad but really my husband wanted to be able to give her all she wants, we do to a degree. But he wants to be able to say lets go here do this and still be able to do all we want. For men it goes deeper tehn just having a baby. Talk it over. Maybe like the others the husband will be ready.
    moma22angels

    Answer by moma22angels at 12:03 PM on Oct. 25, 2009

  • I once heard this from a friend....Ask your husband if he would like to have been an only child. (If he is an only child then oops, nevermind) Have him see it thru your child's point of view. I am sugggesting you talk about it and see it from all angles.
    3gigglemonsters

    Answer by 3gigglemonsters at 2:22 PM on Oct. 25, 2009

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