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how do i get my daughter to want a relationship with her father

my daughters father is a very much part time dad. he was gone for 8 months fot the army. the 1st couple of weeks she would want to talk to him everyday but as the time went on and she would call him he would not answer his phone and then not call back for days. he came to visit a couple weeks ago and she had nothing to do with him and now when he calls she does not want to talk to him. i want them to have a relationship but do not know how to make it happen. i have told him how she feels and sometimes she will say daddy does not love me and i reassure her he does but when i tell him this i am making it up.

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red924

Asked by red924 at 3:34 AM on Oct. 25, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (5)
  • I would say she probablly just figures rather not talk to him at all than talk to him sometimes and be disappointed. which is understandable for her to feel that way. but i also understand you wanting her to have a relationship wtih him. Him not answering his phone does that have to do with his responsibilites of his job in the army? Or does it have to do with him not taking the time? If its because of his job and he doesnt have the time because of it how about having her write him letters? If thats the only reason he is unable to get back to her and he is determined to have a relationship with her then he will write her back as soon as he can so that wont let her down. I would say just reassure her that he loves her but his job doesnt give hiim a lot of time to call back asap but he does think about her and misses her. and talk to her dad and see if theres anyway to fix it. maybe have certain days n times he calls.
    OliviasMommy614

    Answer by OliviasMommy614 at 4:03 AM on Oct. 25, 2009

  • You can't make her have a relationship with him. That is something that the two of them need to work out by themselves. You can be there for her and reassure her that you love her. Listen to her and respect her wishes if she doesn't want to see him. Talk to him and tell him why she feels this way. It's up to him as the adult to make a relationship with his daughter.

    Cindy18

    Answer by Cindy18 at 8:05 AM on Oct. 25, 2009

  • This makes me so sad to read =(

    It's really his job to get in contact with her and to make an effort. There isn't much you can do, but it is great that you encourage a relationship between them.

    I was let down by my dad so many times as a little girl and it will effect me forever. Please tell him he needs to be the one to make an effort, no one can be mad at her for it, she's just a little girl and only making judgments on what she knows and how she is treated by him.

    I'm so sorry to hear about this =(
    Tashwitz

    Answer by Tashwitz at 10:34 AM on Oct. 25, 2009

  • I don't know who it is with the Army in the Air Force they are allowed one free 15 min. phone call a day. My hubby calls and talks to the girls each night that he can. We do video calls on his days off. I would suggest if the phone and computer are not creating a connection, ask her Dad to write her letters. In each one remind him to tell his daughter how he feels about her. I am assuming she is a tween or teenager. Encourage her to write a letter back and to tell how she feels. This would open the dialogue between the two and will developed into a relationship as they continue to write each other. It could be there thing while he is gone. Also maybe your Dad could pick up postcards were ever he is at and drop them in the mail when he is to busy to write a full letter. He will have to make her more of a priority first, but she will come around if he does.

    DevilInPigtails

    Answer by DevilInPigtails at 11:06 AM on Oct. 25, 2009

  • my daughter is onloy four years old and her father seems to think it is her that needs to push the relationship.
    red924

    Answer by red924 at 7:09 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

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