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Do you think that I am full of myself for thinking that I will find someone better than my last boyfriend... or am I just fooling myself?

My ex told me that I am the problem and that I destroy men and turn them into mean, abusive men. I do have a problem with insecurities and I get mad easily when things don't go my way but I have learned a lot from my past relationship and I know that not everything was my fault... I am working on myself and I know that someday I will find someone better to be with, someone that I don't have to fight with to be with me, someone who doesn't have an addiction to alcohol... someone healthy and stable that will be able to love me and my son :)

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:22 AM on Oct. 25, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • I don't think that is being full of yourself, I just think it' confidence, and maybe you are letting your hopes show. Nothing wrong with being optimistic! good luck!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:24 AM on Oct. 25, 2009

  • "My ex told me that I am the problem and that I destroy men and turn them into mean, abusive men." That's a common statement made by abusive boyfriends/husbands/etc. It's always someone's fault, never theirs. It's "She made me hit her" or "She makes me so mad that I just go off on her." You can definitely find someone better.

    Answer by SarahLeeMorgan at 11:25 AM on Oct. 25, 2009

  • He is an ex for a reason. You shouldn't care what he thought you after all is said and down. YOu have a son to worry about and in due time a good man will come your way. Dont rush into anything full time just have a date here and there. Enjoy your son and have fun and only time will tell... Good luck.

    Answer by moma22angels at 11:56 AM on Oct. 25, 2009

  • I don't believe that women turn men into abusers. That is the anthem for an abuser, "You made me do it." It's not being full of yourself to want a good guy instead of a loser. Just take your time and you'll know when you've got a keeper because of how he treats you and your son.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 12:09 PM on Oct. 25, 2009

  • Wow... sounds like he was a complete jerk. You, Hon, are the most wonderful person YOU will ever meet... so with that being said, make the most of who you are and do what YOU want to do. YOU deserve it. You only live once, stand up, shake yourself off, and go out there and get what YOU want!!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:01 PM on Oct. 25, 2009

  • First off YOU do not turn them into mean abusive men. That's a cop out on his part. It could be that you go into a toxic relationship with men who feed off of your negative energy and together the two of you create a negative couple. Abusive men are created long before you get to them. He's responsible for his own behavior. You might poke the "old dog" with a stick but it's up to him whether or not he bites you.

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:41 PM on Oct. 25, 2009

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