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Is it my responsibility to tell someone about their out of control child?

Last weekend at my son's 3rd birthday party our friend's 8 year old was completely out of control. Her mom was there but did nothing about her behavior. She was pushing, shoving, being rude, threatening other kids and broke my son's power wheel jeep (just a piece of plastic on it). I have recieved a complaint from EVERY parent including people who didn't have kids, like my parents. As the hostess of the party do I have a responsibility to tell my friend about the complaints and talk to her about her child's behavior? She is already not allowed back at my house but I feel that is just rude to tell her that. She just will not be invited anymore. I am torn do I tell her about all the complaints I received or do I just let it go and not invite them anymore?


Asked by kittykat1919 at 2:54 PM on Oct. 25, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (5)
  • Well, you definitely should tell her why you are not inviting her back. I don't think there's really a way to tell her that won't have her taking offense (I mean, this is her kid you're talking about). But try to put it as factual and tactfully as you can.

    You need to let her know that the other parents did not like that her daughter was pushing their children, etc. and that it is not safe for her to act that way. Tell her that while you care a lot for her and her daughter (since she is your friend I assume you do), but that her child's behavior definitely puts a damper on parties and get togethers because of her wildness.

    It will probably be awkward, but you need to tell her and try and be as understanding as possible with her reaction (be it accepting what you say or anger). Good luck.

    Answer by jlry_ldy at 3:02 PM on Oct. 25, 2009

  • I would just not invite her any more. then if she asks in the future why she was not invited. Then I would tell her about the complaints.


    Answer by louise2 at 3:03 PM on Oct. 25, 2009

  • Id just never invite her again. If she asks why, then Id explain.

    Answer by Amaranth361 at 3:30 PM on Oct. 25, 2009

  • I agree with jlry ldy. The mom should at least have an explanation as to why she is no longer welcome at your home.

    Answer by Robsmommy at 4:48 PM on Oct. 25, 2009

  • We have stopped inviting someone over because of their out of control child. As a matter of fact, that was one of the big downers between my best friend and I. I loved spending time with her but her little boy drove me crazy. His behavior and his attitude. We also have that problem with my FIL. We'd love to spend more time with him but his daughter and her son still live at home and FIL goes everywhere with the kid. He is such a bully. He is a year younger than Bear but almost twice the size. We'd like to invite FIL over but fear that his grandson will come too.

    Answer by Bearsmomma at 1:21 AM on Oct. 26, 2009