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What to do when u fight with ur husband and you just wanna strangle him and knock him down!!!

How to calm down, when he really pisses you off! I just feel like exploding and buying a carton full of cigarettes, (i quit smoking 3 years ago, dont wanna go into that again.)but what should i do to calm down, he talks to me like i'm a little kid n never takes me seriously.i'm literally shaking as i type.

Answer Question
 
fefe87

Asked by fefe87 at 4:43 PM on Oct. 25, 2009 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,737 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • You need help. More than you can find here.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:47 PM on Oct. 25, 2009

  • Now take a deep breath in...out...., all you can do is walk away, take a pencil and paper and write your feelings down, let them our out on that sheet of paper, finsh it and read it back, you don;t have to give to him if you don't want, but just maybe you will. Either way iit a stupendous release tool, that works wonders!
    older

    Answer by older at 4:50 PM on Oct. 25, 2009

  • When me and DH fight like this, I go to my computer and write in my journal. I quit smoking 23 years ago, and there have been times DH has driven me to almost start again. Also, a hot bubble bath and a glass of wine help me too. The wine gets me through my DH's "whine". I will pray for things to get better for you,Hon!
    Robsmommy

    Answer by Robsmommy at 4:53 PM on Oct. 25, 2009

  • I do the writting feelings thing down then I read it a few times sometimes I tear it into pieces other times I burn it but I always get out of the sight of my husband when I am the mad at him even if I have to go out to the back deck or sit in the car sometimes even if you go for a drive alone will help.
    diva_74

    Answer by diva_74 at 4:54 PM on Oct. 25, 2009

  • when my husband has pushed me over the edge and he clearly has gone too far I just distract myself, take a warm shower, you have to go buy some Eucalyptus oil or even pure lavendar oil at a organic store...it helps me calm down so much...put a few drops in the steamy bath water and you'll be calm soon.

    Usually if he has gone too far I will calm down, then I will go talk to him very calmly and let him know he went to far and I tell him until he can apologize and treat me how I should be treated he can expect to be treated differently.

    differently like I wont talk to him unless its very plain, like Go take out the trash not How was your day
    I wont go up to him and hug him when he gets off of work
    I dont touch him at all in bed

    everything just becomes really plain between us...he tried to see how long i would do it and he gave in within a day at 1st. now he will only let it be like that for an hour or so.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:01 PM on Oct. 25, 2009

  • For me, I walk away and sit in a room by myself and think for 15 minutes, or for however long it takes to calm down and catch my bearings. It works for me and we are both usually calmed down and thinking better and end up talking it out and apologizing for getting so mad at each other.
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 5:04 PM on Oct. 25, 2009

  • If you are loosing your temper a lot then he is not the one with the issue. One of the first signs in needing help with anger is the tendancy to lay blame elsewhere instead of realizing that we are the one with the problem. Have you considered he may be talking to you like a child because of the way you react to him? If you are prone to letting anger get the best of you of course he is not going to treat you as an equal. The only person you can do anything about is you. You are the one you can help. Go see either a therapist or a minister for better guidance.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:32 PM on Oct. 25, 2009

  • Walking away is good. Deep breathing and learning to meditate can help. I don't think you need the help the others think you do. There are men that make you feel like that. You aren't DOING it. You just feel like it.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 5:40 PM on Oct. 25, 2009

  • umm wow suer unhealthy.
    you need anger treatment and he needs sensitivity training.

    you should never gith like that.
    we never fight...we calmly explain our viewoint if its different but thats it. and its not because were weird or anything. we just dont let crap escalate
    moki1984

    Answer by moki1984 at 6:23 PM on Oct. 25, 2009

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