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9 year old obsessed with sex?

My daughter is 9 years old and has somehow been exposed to a high level/amount of sex. She's been caught taking her clothes off with her cousins, trying to kiss them and even as far as "humping" them. She has also been writing letters to other children in her school about having sex with them. She has been through counseling, I've tried talking with her, I've tried grounding her for such things, even gone as far as not letting her over to people's houses who have children, but nothing seems to be working. It just seems like she's getting closer and closer to actually doing more serious acts. In the past she has accused her father of touching her inappropriately, investigation was done (twice) but could not prove anything actually happened - she wouldn't talk. Any help/advice on what to do or say to make things click in her mind that this is not right, would be GREATLY appreciated!!

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Asked by Anonymous at 5:11 PM on Oct. 25, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (11)
  • wow, I would motion for supervised visits because you think you kid is unsafe with her dad, letting the court know she accused him of touching her. Keeping telling her the difference between good touch/bad touch. keep up with the counseling,homeschool until she can act right around other kids, Tell her if someone touches her with a bad touch its not her fault. be consistently disciplining her when she acts out. If you can afford it a child physiologist is better that a counselor. maybe hire a private investigator to watch her dad.

    Answer by maiahlynn at 5:41 PM on Oct. 25, 2009

  • children do not pick up this kind of stuff on their own, she was obviously exposed to it. My sister son was similar, but not as bad. I think he got it from television, my sister always leaves the lifetime channel on allday on the weekends, it has a lot of sexual activities on it. I don't think she realizes how this affects her children. Also keep a close eye on her when she is with her father and keep talking to her

    Answer by staceynoel at 7:09 PM on Oct. 25, 2009

  • Well, supervised visits aren't an option, so I was told. They 'save' that for more extreme cases, so apparently your kid has to be habitually assaulted before they'll do anything about it. The court is aware of the accusations but would not move forward because she wouldn't come out and say that he did these things to the officer and investigator. When they talked to her, she froze up and would try to change the subject. They will only investigate twice b/c after that it looks like we're trying to get her to say what we want her to say.
    We thought about the lifetime thing, her dad does watch that, and so does her grandma. She goes there 3 nights a week.
    I know I should keep an eye on her father, but is there anything else I could possibly do to help her get over this? any programs or boot camp maybe? I've confronted her and she seems to have no emotion or remorse for her actions. It's like she doesn't even care! Scary!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:44 PM on Oct. 25, 2009

  • I think you need to get on the phone w/a mental health professional and quick. She may have been through some councling but she is not DONE with councling. When a child has been molested or rapped recovery can be lifelong.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:47 AM on Oct. 26, 2009

  • can you afford a lawyer? if so get one because if he molested her Or if you think he may have.. then you should be able to get supervised visits.. Or a restraining order. talk to a lawyer

    Answer by maiahlynn at 9:15 PM on Oct. 26, 2009

  • It doesn't sound at all like normal behavior, and she has very likely been exposed to something she should not have been exposed to, and that is a cause for concern. You say she is in counseling? What does the counselor say? These are signs of some kind of sexual abuse, even exposure to pornography. Something. It is not normal for kids that age and it is causing problems for her with other I would talk to the counselor and find out what the next step would be.

    Answer by BJoan at 7:54 AM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • Try and get a Temporary Restraining Order. They are pretty quick to issue them with enough evidence and that can buy you several weeks to months depending on how backed up the courts are. It sounds like she was definitely exposed. She might also be acting out to get your attention. Even though you may feel like you are there for her, obviously she might be feeling otherwise. She might also be afraid of admitting anything so as to not disappoint you! She is headed for a great deal of trouble I'm afraid. Can you both go somewhere for a while? It would be a huge sacrifice, but removing her from her current situation might give her enough space from it to disassociate herself from that behavior. And to see that you are 100% committed to helping her and that you are on her side. Good Luck! - Worst case, sit in the Social Services office for several hours - show her the consequences...

    Answer by ny_momof3 at 2:55 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • Get her far away from the person who is molesting/raping her. Only allow her around other children extremely well supervised. She has now become the molester. Get her psychological counseling. ASAP.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:15 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • Wow i agree with the others that she has been molested. That is extremely unusual behavior for a 9 yr old girl. Many prayers for you......i dont know what else to say.

    Answer by Sandyr911 at 8:19 AM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • I know this response is coming late. My daughter is the same way. Turns out some children are fixated on sex. My daughter goes to therapy and her first therapist when I mentioned that my daughter masterbates and lets obsessed with sex. Not as much as your daughter, it's not abuse, it's normal to some children. You have to constantly remind your child that this behaver is unacceptable.

    Answer by happynewyorker at 4:00 PM on Jan. 25, 2012

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