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''Grandma's little boy''... not

I have a 7 month old son. And my mother is acting like he is hers.
In the beginning my mother wasnt around alot because I would just saty home. But now that he's a little bigger, and I do go out I almost see her everyday because I dont drive. She is my taxi.
She thinks that anytime she's around, and he cry's -He's crying for her..
She thinks that she can feed him anything, -Dosnt matter that I say no..
If I stay home of a day or too, she'll get upset, and think she's not important. I've try'd to explain everything to her, trying to let her know that He's mine, and I know how to raise him, and that 'yes' she important but she not 'everything', and she's most deffinatly 'not' his mother. But she's so emotional, and just wont talk to me. She just gets quiet, and say's well.. Im just nobody then.. Im not needed..
What do I do?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:07 PM on Oct. 25, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (6)
  • tell her to grow up

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:21 PM on Oct. 25, 2009

  • Wow. I wish I knew. I would die if my mom were like that. I would say just kindly tell her to back off or you will have to limit her time with the two of you. That may sound harsh, but it sounds like she is using her emotional "state" to try and manipulate you into feeling bad and giving in to her way. Tell her that when she can respect your authority as his mother, she can start coming around more again. I had the discussion on me being the final authority for my kids with my mom just to see her take on it, and she was right there with me....and if she hadn't been, I don't think I'd go over there a whole lot. My philosophy is... when YOU carry her around for nine months and then squeeze her from YOUR Va jay jay...then you can tell me how to care for her. Until then... if I'm not hurting her, neglecting her, or otherwise hindering her wellbeing... I'm the boss. Give it to her straight. Good luck!

    Answer by ErinHill226 at 6:52 PM on Oct. 25, 2009

  • I don't know what to tell you that you haven't already done. My mom and my 13 year old sister call my son their baby, and it used to bother me, but they don't ever overstep their bounds with him. How old are you? If you are young, she probably thinks she knows better than you. (not saying she does, just thinking here) And I know sometimes grandparents DO know better, but there are other times when they don't. Especially when it comes to what she's giving him.

    Answer by corbysmom531 at 7:24 PM on Oct. 25, 2009

  • The fact that you refer to your Mother as your "taxi" tells me a lot about the dysfunction of the relationship long before you had a baby. Solve the problem. Get your licence and then buy a car. No "taxi" driver to deal with.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:38 PM on Oct. 25, 2009

  • i dont see if he is crying why u wont let her try to sooth him once in a while.mabe she doesnt feel important. grandmas are there to feed ur child all kinds of goodies and give em stuff they cant her a dog so she has a purpose to wake up and something she can take care of,trust me it works

    Answer by angelairelan at 8:49 PM on Oct. 25, 2009

  • Honestly, I would give in to her pity party. She's being selfish and trying to make the situation about her, regardless of whether it's your son "needing her" or you reacting to that type of situation. I would be really blunt. She's important, you want her around, you want her in your child's life, but all of the child raising is your responsibility. I understand that you've tried explaining things to her before, but don't let her sad faces make it harder for you to be honest. Call her out on her behaviour and let her know that it isn't about not being needed. That it's about you being the mother of your child.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 9:47 PM on Oct. 25, 2009

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