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I need to find help for my husband?

My husband and I have a beautiful 9 month old daughter, and we just recently found out about 8 months ago that my husband has a 15 month onld son, but his ex-girlfriend. So we have had his son on our home every weekend since then. My husband gets so MAD at some the the things his son does, he will hurt. And when I say hurt him I mean like this past saturday his son wouldn't stop crying so he picked him up and started yelling at him and shook him. And then just last night his son was in the high chair and was screaming at the top of his lungs because he wanted cookie his sister had and I was trying to correct him and my husband came in the room and slammed his hand on top of his hand on the tray and left a welt mark. My question is, I don't know what to do, I have tried talking to him about hte abuse but he just states to me"WHATEVER" And I told him last night if it doesn't stop, his daughter and I will be leaving. HELP!

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Asked by haydensmom09 at 10:38 AM on Oct. 26, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (28)
  • He is getting physical with his son...he needs the law called on him...he isn't willing to accept that he is out of line...get you and your daughter out now until he gets help...and contact the mother of his son...she needs to know that he is abusing her child!!!!

    Answer by Jademom07 at 10:41 AM on Oct. 26, 2009

  • Contact the mother of his son as Jade stated. You are in a tough situation and I am so sorry to hear that =(

    Answer by Tashwitz at 10:43 AM on Oct. 26, 2009

  • Ok he will be like this with your daughter when she gets a few months older & starts to act up. He sounds very immature (getiing 2 women pregnant with in months of each other). get away from him & let the ex know of his attitude towards thier son. He's dangerous & could give you a disease with all this unprotected sex.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:47 AM on Oct. 26, 2009

  • Well I am living in my father's old house, he bought and new one and I have told my husband to get out many of times, and he keeps laughing at me and telling me, he's not going to leave. I know he will act like this towards our daughter. That's why I am trying to get him help, but he won't but Jade did make a good point of contacting the son's mother. My mother has talked to my husband about this because she has witnessed both incidents and told him if he doesn't straighten up she's going to the baby's mother about it. And basically he just says "WHATEVER". Im at wits end with this and I don't like to see Children being abused. I just don't understand why he's doing this?

    Answer by haydensmom09 at 10:54 AM on Oct. 26, 2009

  • It's good that you are not in denial and willing to step in and stand up for that child. Good for you! I know a lot of step moms who aren't there for their step children like that. Anyway...I would tell him exactly what you said before that if doesn't stop what he's doing, then you will be leaving with your daughter. I would give him one shot and if he messes up, then let the mom know what's going on, take your daughter, and leave. You should also make sure he gets supervised visits only with the children by testifiying in court and getting some proof. Good luck

    Answer by lowencope at 10:55 AM on Oct. 26, 2009

  • Call CPS. He's getting physically violent with a 15 month old. That's ridiculous! Also leave him, if he can get violent like that with a baby there's no reason for him not to with you and your daughter.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:02 AM on Oct. 26, 2009

  • Thanks Lowencope, I would take up for any child if they were being abused. That's just how I was raised. I think I am just going to leave him until he can get help, because I don't want my little girl growing up in a hostile inviroment. But I hate to do it but it has to be done. But thanks everyone for the good advice. It has really helped put things into order.

    Answer by haydensmom09 at 11:07 AM on Oct. 26, 2009

  • Your husband needs professional help for his abusive behavior. Do not wait until another "incident" occurs, tell him TODAY that he must get help before he can come back home. I would call CPS or at least the little boy's mother. By no means should your husband be allowed visitation with his son.

    Have someone else at the home with you when you tell your husband to leave.  You need support from a friend or family member in case he refuses to leave or gets violent.  DO NOT be afraid to call the police.


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:16 AM on Oct. 26, 2009

  • You need to go to the police. If the house you are staying in belongs to your father and your husband's name is nowhere on the papers for the house, you (or your father) has every right to kick him out. You can also report the abuse and get a temporary restraining order for you and your baby because when you start reporting him he is probably going to be really upset and may take it out on you and your baby. But just remember you are doing what you have to to keep 2 innocent babies safe, and that should be your main priority right now. Good luck.

    Answer by AprilDJC at 11:28 AM on Oct. 26, 2009

  • His son is 15 months old!! Your husband sounds like a fucking cowardly bully! There is no way in hell that I would live with a monster like that, or let my children be around him!!! What if he started shaking your daughter and kills her...wouldn't you feel like a piece of shit for keeping the fucking idiot around!!!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:12 PM on Oct. 26, 2009

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