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What should I do????

Ok ladies,I know my son has made his bed and he has to lie in it,but I need some advice.My son's girlfriend is pregnant,due in Jan.They live in the city,and I in the country about an hour away from them.My son injured his-self at work and is only able to walk on one foot.I had been taking care of his dog for two years and took it to him yesterday like he asked.Helped him get the dog set up,then took him to get his antibiotics for his foot.His girl was gone,but came back when we were gone.She has lost her house key,but my son left the back door unlocked for her.She called him on my phone bitching at him cause he locked the door,said she wasn't gonna walk by the dog to go in.We got back,and he was trying to get out of the truck,and she told him to F@#$ing hurry up she had to pee!!No compassion for his injury at all and was direspectful.I posted on Myspace a mood of how upset she made me..Now she is talking crap and cussing me!!!


Asked by momz1970 at 1:47 PM on Oct. 26, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

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Answers (14)
  • Putting all that aside I suggest that althought it can be tempting to intrude, stay away from their relationship, let them figure out how it is going to go on their own, let them make mistakes etc, let them live their lives how ever they see fit, after all nobody knows really what kind of relationship they have but them two, and what might seem disrespectful or mean to you, might be understood by the both of them.
    Ultimately you want your son to be happy, so making amends will do this for him, I am sure the stress of his mother and his woman fighting is not something he enjoys. Be smart.

    Answer by older at 4:32 PM on Oct. 26, 2009

  • Well if my dh had locked the door when he said he wouldn't, and I was almost ready to pop and had to pee and couldn't because said door was locked, then I would be cussing him too...but do you really know how he treats her? this may be a double sided sword. As for how she is cussing you, did you really expect her to only cuss your son and not you?

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:51 PM on Oct. 26, 2009

  • Sorry this is so long,but I am desperate for advice!!So...anyways she is telling me that I won't be able to see the baby,telling me to go F@$! myself,calling me and the rest of the family out here hillbilly rednecks!!I am being nice,and not saying anything bad back to her...but how much should I take???I love my son,and have been helping them both out with a car,food,things for the baby,and money when they need something.I am close with my son,and I don't want her to come between that,but I don't like the crap she is doing to him or me.She is even getting violent with him and hitting him.Just how much should a mother take from a mean,vindictive,crabby girl like her??Please ladies..some advice??

    Answer by momz1970 at 1:54 PM on Oct. 26, 2009

  • whoever answered before they got the whole story...your just as bad as she is!!!!He treats her good!!!And all of the family knows this!!!She had a key,and lost it,why would he leave the door unlocked for someone to rob him!!!She could've walked around to the back door and went in to pee.So I think whoever you are,you aren't good enough to give advice if you're gonna jump to conclusions before you get the whole story!!!Shame!!

    Answer by momz1970 at 1:59 PM on Oct. 26, 2009

  • Sounds like you and the g/f are destined to rub each other the wrong way in this situation...she is prego and hormonal, so she is more likely to say things she normally wouldn't. Also, you stated that you and your son are very close, and by the way you defend him, sounds like you are having a hard time accepting that he has another woman in his life. An old case of the 'no one will ever be good enough for MY son' syndrome. My advice would be to give the girl a chance and really take a good look at your true feelings in this situation. JMO.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:12 PM on Oct. 26, 2009

  • You have to let go Mom. He's a grown up now and has the option of staying or leaving. Try not to help so much. They need to stand on their own 2 feet. Be pleasant to her and don't say things about her to your son. I've been there, my son finally divorced her. Thank heaven they had no children.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:16 PM on Oct. 26, 2009

  • I personally don't think you have "no one will ever be good enough for my son syndrome" you are a concerned mother. I wouldn't adress her at all with the foul mouth, she will go running to your son crying wolf. Since you stated that you and your son are close, maybe a long talk with him will help him understand the why of your concern, the baby has not even born yet and she is using it as a weapon almost. After talking with your son, I would set aside another time for a longer conversation with her, apoligize for venting on the internet, but you were frustrated and explain that she will understand how a mother feels once this baby is born. Try to make peace however you can, it is better to have her as an ally instead of an enemy, do this for your son and for the baby coming.


    Answer by older at 4:27 PM on Oct. 26, 2009

  • I don't blame you for being upset. I would be in the same situation for sure. I agree with older though. As disrepectful as 'the young lady' has been thus far, it's about the upcoming baby. As hard as it may be, try to make peace before the baby comes. It will be much easier on your son if you can. Bless you big Lady.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:18 PM on Oct. 26, 2009

  • seems to me like that girl needs a damn attitude change. how old is she cuz she sounds about 17. but she is pregnant and hormonal. Just remember how that felt! I on the other hand am on the other end of the spectrum.

    Answer by micahsmommy512 at 6:51 PM on Oct. 26, 2009

  • stop helping them unless they ask, don't get involved with their stuff, but let each of them know that you will be there for them when they can be respectful to you. and you have to make it about both of them because he chooses to be with her. she will come around and if you take the high road it will be better in the long run.

    Answer by trying2survive at 9:42 PM on Oct. 26, 2009