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How can I put together a rewards chart for my 7yr. boy for making good choices about being nice to his little brother instead of hitting, hurting or aggravating him? How do I come up with appropriate awards that are not all materialist.ic?i

I have a 7 yr. old boy , middle child, who constantly is hurting, hitting, or purposely aggravating his younger brother 4yrs. Of course, he is a very sweet, kind, and considerate child to everyone at school. His teachers tell me all the time what a great friend he is to the others in class. He has flat out told me that he feels that is the only way he seems to get attention. at home. I would love to have some kind of positive rewards chart to help him understand that being nice and kind to his brother and older sister would be better choices for him to to make. Quite frankly, we are both tired of the time out chair. Time to try a different approach. I would love to hear from anyone who has had success in this area.

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Asked by onajourney09 at 2:10 PM on Oct. 26, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (6)
  • He has already told you the best incentive -- attention. For every __ days that he is behaves, he gets 10-15 minutes or whatever you can fit in, alone, with you, just talking, or playing a game. Your older one can keep an eye on the 4 year old to make sure nothing bad happens. It's free and priceless at the same time. Good luck, mama.


    Answer by Pnukey at 2:17 PM on Oct. 26, 2009

  • Middle child? Gee, just spend time with him and be as positive as possible. My parents ignored me and gave my older brother and younger brother all the attention they could. To this day, they won't acknowledge their behavior with me, but at 48, I am dealing with many personal issues due to being ignored.


    Answer by Anonymous at 2:51 PM on Oct. 26, 2009

  • A friend of mine did a reward chart where they had to get so many "stickers" to get to go somewhere special. You could do anything from a trip to mc donalds or even a date with mommy or daddy alone! You could also do something where they help you make cookies for dessert that night or something like that...where they are involved!

    Answer by Rebecca727 at 2:57 PM on Oct. 26, 2009

  • We have a chart for my son. Right now he can earn stars for being respectful, sharing, making his bed, picking up his toys, taking out the trash, homework and we change up depending on what he really needs to work on. If he can get all the stars in a day he wins a monopoly buck when he gets 10 monopoly bucks he wins various things. Last time he got an art day with me. We went to a local museum that is free and spent a few hours checking out the art. Sometimes if he is saving for something he can earn a real buck for each monopoly buck. He has went to movies, earned sleep overs and other things. He has a goal each day and is excited when he achieves that. This has worked better than timeouts or discipline. He is learning he like positive attention much better than negative when he is naughty.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:14 PM on Oct. 26, 2009

  • Anon 314 that is awsome! (monopoly $) I love your ideas. I did mine with a dry erase board. I drew a star on it everytime my dd did good. Ten stars and she got a reward. Beware of extra little squiggly stars that show up, ya know, the ones that the kids sneak and draw, and not drawn by you.

    Try crafts as a reward. Throw ball around. He chooses dinner and dessert. How bout this one....he gets one free room clean up by YOU! lol I give my dd 5-2-10 minute foot rubs.

    Answer by 3gigglemonsters at 3:40 PM on Oct. 26, 2009

  • I like the reward system very much! The only problem I see with it is that he has to EARN your affection instead of having it for free. I understand you want his behavior to improve, but your bahavior towards him needs to improve as well.
    Maybe you could start giving him attention everyday, 1 on 1 or making more of an effort to include him in regular daily activities. Give the boy some love!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:51 PM on Oct. 28, 2009

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