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What should I do?

My 6 year old (will be 7 in march) pooped in his pants at school this afternoon. The teacher wrote a note and he erased most of it (and told me he didn't) He also told me that she wouldn't let him go to the bathroom but the note says she did. He finially said he did it while sitting in his desk instead of asking to go to the bathroom. He is not ever like this. I don't understand what is going on or how i should punish him.

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:44 PM on Oct. 26, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (4)
  • I wouldn't punish him for it-it was an accident. Maybe he got distracted, maybe she really wouldn't let him go, maybe he wasn't feeling well. There could be numerous reasons and he was clearly embarrassed by it.
    I would try and talk to him calmly, saying you understand that he had an accident and that it happens sometimes (shit happens!!! ha!!!) and try and see if he can tell you why.
    If not, and it doesn't become an ongoing issue, then I would just drop it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:51 PM on Oct. 26, 2009

  • I agree w/ above poster and I'd also put the teacher on the spot and get to the bottom of it (whether or not she would let him go). This seems to be an issue (grade one) and the bathroom. My husband and I have had talks about it too w/ our son. Waiting for parent/teacher chat to see what the deal is w/ bathroom breaks and getting a drink.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 4:59 PM on Oct. 26, 2009

  • I wouldn't punish him. Talk to him privately, on his level , ask why? Kids do this for so many reasons. Sometimes it's just about feeling some control in their world. Is he overwhelmed or behind at school? Is his stomach sick? Did he not have a BM at his last regular interval?

    Just talk to him about the importance of getting to the potty so he won't be embarrassed in school and leave it at that for now. If he continues to have accidents when he hasn't before first see his Pedi to rule out any physical problem. Then make a positive reinforcement chart. Stickers for days with no accidents. So many stickers equals a treat of some kind.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 5:04 PM on Oct. 26, 2009

  • Why would you punish him? He obviously has a problem; either he isn't comfortable asking the teacher and he had physical problem where he can't hold it, or both.

    Many teachers take away recess from kids who use the bathroom during class. This alone makes kids unwilling to ask. You need more information.

    Answer by mancosmomma at 9:33 PM on Oct. 26, 2009

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