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HELP!!!!! I've created a monster!

ds is 3 y/o and I like to think he hasn't always gotten his way and wasn't spoiled but I realizes just how bad he really is. he always talks in this mean I'm the boss voice and he is very demanding. he used to be very good, always using his manners and listening to adults. well enough is enough. he is now on his bed screaming mommy mommy mommy cause he's in timeout for not listening. usually I will go in there to calm him down cause I can't stand his screaming. not this time pal! df and I got in a huge fight that started over him and his attitude. he went to bed a little early for not listening and he started kicking his toys around his room and screaming. df yelled at him and I got upset about what he said. finally we talked and he told me I am too loosey goosey and today I realized I really am. but I am going to work on it. I guess I just needed to vent and a little encouragement. he hasn't CIO since he was 6 months old!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:01 PM on Oct. 26, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (5)
  • its time to start timeouts...you want to be firm but not harsh...explain what he did wrong, make him sit somewhere for one minute for every year of his age...so for him its only three minutes...when he is done get down on his level and explain to him again what he did wrong and how to fix it...its hard at this age because they can be VERY stubborn and not quite understand...so try your best, and stick with it!
    blueeyedgrl2377

    Answer by blueeyedgrl2377 at 5:04 PM on Oct. 26, 2009

  • Its good that you're realizing it now and not when the situation is worse, say he's 12 and out vandalizing things. Just be consistent, remember to use time-outs as a guiding tool not a life long sentence, ie appropriate lengths, (3 minutes) not until he stops crying. If a time out lasts too long by the time the child is let out they've done forgot what they were being punished for. You may also want to talk to him about how you've decided to change dome things. He might be confused as to why all of a sudden with no reason mommy isn't coming anymore. Sitting him down and explaining you aren't happy with his behaviour, so you're making some new house rule changes could be a positive thing. Use age appropriate language, discuss the new rules, and the consequences to breaking each new rule. If its always been ok to give attitude, and now all of a sudden there's harsh punishment for it your child's likely to have more anger issues
    ba13ygrl1987

    Answer by ba13ygrl1987 at 9:32 PM on Oct. 26, 2009

  • Also, always remember behaviors with children typically get MUCH MUCH worse before they get better. He's not going to change in 1 week, it might even take longer then 1 month to see a change. But if you're consistent but fair now it will pay off in the long run.
    ba13ygrl1987

    Answer by ba13ygrl1987 at 9:33 PM on Oct. 26, 2009

  • There's a good book called SOS for parents that describes time outs and when and how to use them. Based in your description, I think you might be a softy and he wants the control. Read the book and see what you think..it encompasses all the answers above. Good luck!

    P.S. My daughter was the EXACT same way until we made some difficult changes. Now she is good MOST of the time, which is a huge improvement.
    char944

    Answer by char944 at 7:36 AM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • if you are doing that good but be consistent.
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 10:25 AM on Oct. 27, 2009

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