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women with childish husbands, please tell me what to do, im running outta options.

ok my husband is 24 good provider, father, etc. The problem is sometimes I feel like im raising another child. two days ago we had a full blown argument about him washing his face in the morning before going to work. Apparently he feels hes gona have to wake up a hour early to wash his face. Everything is always taking overboard with him. the smallest thing sends him off the deep end. I simply asked him to start washing his face, because he goes out the house with eye boggers etc. There are numerous stories that I can tell. You cant say anything to him cause it upsets him or he feels your coming down on him. If I don't ask him to do stuff he NEVER does it, its annoying and frustrating. I have ben patient with him, but its getting ridiculous. when he is like this I dont even wanna have sex with him cause im so turned off by the way he acts and his mentality about things. Ive tried talkin to him and even not saying anything..

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:56 PM on Oct. 26, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • If you don't want to be his mother, then quit acting like it...if he doesn't want to wash his face, he doesn't have to...that's his decision...you need to learn to pick your battles

    If you pick at everything he does, then the stuff that's really important gets lost in the griping. Figure out which things really bug you the most and cut that list in half...talk to him about them in a way that is not demanding him to do them..see if you can find a middle ground...BUT be prepared to get some feedback in return...you can't ask for all and give nothing.
    Once you have conqured the first things on the list, then move on to other things.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 6:02 PM on Oct. 26, 2009

  • Why do you need to tell him to wash his face? He is a grown man. If he wants to leave the house with eye boogers or teeth unbrushed it is no reflection on you as a wife. He needs to grow up and realize that you aren't his mother, but his wife.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 6:02 PM on Oct. 26, 2009

  • OP: but nothing is working. We have the talk, he says he gonna get bedda, then its the same thing. Ive been trying to figure out what it could possibly be other than he needs to grow up. Ive prayed to be more patient and understanding becuz nobodies perfect. I am far from it, but im starting to miss having a husband because this lil boy is who im married to most of the time. dont get me wrong I love my husband which is why im still here with him, but I also want a equal marriage, the way I view him is starting to change, and Im trying to fight that cuz its not a good sign. I believe there are many factors to it including his mama still babying him, etc. any suggestions as to what I can possibly do or not do is appreciated.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:02 PM on Oct. 26, 2009

  • I agree with Jade .... you sound more like his mom than his wife. I don't hover over my husband to see what he's washing & when. I couldn't even tell you the last time he brushed his teeth --- not that I think he HASN'T in a while or anything... it's just not my concern. He's a grown man.

    This just sounds like a power struggle or control issue. Wash your own face & your kids' faces whenever you want.... let your hubby worry about his own.
    Laura1229

    Answer by Laura1229 at 6:04 PM on Oct. 26, 2009

  • OP: i dont hover over my husband to see what he does and dont do. The washing of the face thing is not just going to work. this is even when we go out. since he;s a nite showerer he feels nothing is necessary in the morning. so when we are out, im lucking if he washes his face and actually remembers to brush his teeth. FYI thats nasty and because I love him I remind him to do those things when he forgets. Just like he wouldnt want me to go out of the house with a dirty face and stinky breath, the same applies for him. he is a reflection of me just as I am of him. Its not a power struggle or controling thing.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:18 PM on Oct. 26, 2009

  • I know what you mean OP. My husband is 38 and doesn't understand why I get mad when he only brushes his teeth in the morning. I mean HELLO I might like to make out. Duh!


    I have stopped arguing about this because it makes me crazy.


    Also, he likes to just go to bed in his clothes. Kicks his shoes off and that's it.


    Sometimes I can get it my way if he wants me to do something for him such as, "Let's make popcorn and watch a movie in bed then snuggle and fall asleep."


    To that I will respond, "None of that is going to happen until you are in proper pajamas."


    We have been together almost 23 years. He didn't used to be this way. Sometimes I care. Sometimes I let it go, but I DO sympathize with your situation.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:24 PM on Oct. 26, 2009

  • I'm sorry but to the posters who say the way a husband looks doesn't reflect on the wife....I wouldn't want to go out in public with a dirty looking man with eye boogers! Pick your battles, yes, and I think this is one of them.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:27 PM on Oct. 26, 2009

  • I don't understand why women get so upset over such petty things. So what if he doesn't wash his face when he leaves in the morning or when you go out? Maybe sweetly rubbing the eye boogers out of his eyes instead of demanding that he start washing his face... Or saying, "hey baby, you have stuff in your eyes"

    If my husband asked me to start washing my face or that he is embarassed to be around me because something about me isn't good enough for him, you bet I'd be upset.

    So what if he isn't wearing "Proper Pajamas" when he goes to bed. My husband sleeps naked. I don't care what he wears as long as he's comfortable and he's next to me.

    It seems to me like these are such small things to get so upset over. Maybe not having my DH next to me every night helps me to see the bigger picture. If your husband was leaving for 7 weeks or 15 months, maybe you wouldn't be so upset over washing his face or having pj's on.
    Cavalrybaby02

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 6:50 PM on Oct. 26, 2009

  • Lol! Listen my friend, I am WITH YA! You have to be attracted to the husband and not a mother figure!
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 7:08 PM on Oct. 26, 2009

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