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money from in-laws?

we need some money for house and car repairs and the only thing we can think of is to ask my husbands parents. the problem is i'm not very close with his parents and i don't want to feel like i "owe" them every time i see them. even if it's a loan situation, we won't be able to pay them back for a long while. did anyone else have to do this? how did it turn out?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:32 AM on Oct. 27, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Never borrow money from family. Especially if you know you will not be able to pay it back.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 8:34 AM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • We have had to borrow from my inlaws and it sucks! They make it a point to let us know they have loaned us money and bring it up often, I would make this a last resort, we did and we are paying in more ways then one!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:35 AM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • I would not want to borrow money from them. Whenever you borrow money from family, it usually causes other problems. One thing is that they have the tendency to believe that you "owe" them in other areas, as well as the financial one. They do this for you, then you should do lots of things for them. It could be used against you as a form of black-mail. I think to borrow money from them is to run the risk of ruining the relationship that you have with them now, and I wouldn't do it.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:36 AM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • Well we are young I am 22 my SO is 21 and when we 1st moved in together his mom bought everything we needed for the house and even gave us there sofa set and tvs just so she had an excuse to go buy a new and when I got pregnant I had to be put on bed rest so I could no longer work, and we couldnt afford to buy things like a crib and everything. So his mom came down and gave us a target credit card and said get what yall need, I will pay the bill. Its her only son, and only grandson. so she kinda spoiled them, but I know if I was ever in a bind I could call her and ask for money and not have to pay it back.
    ggiovanni

    Answer by ggiovanni at 8:42 AM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • I would never borrow from in-laws. Family has a way of making you PAY that is much worse than financial. I agree with the other posters that you shouldn't do it. I think you will regret it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:56 AM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • Been there done that. When you borrow from in-laws, they feel as if they have to rub it in , by asking to go out for shopping excursions, cooking and also on my hubby's one day off to go out and do things with them before our own immeditate family. It really is horrible. He feels as if he can never say no. Meanwhile, the single sis goes about her business like nothing. SHe borrowed and never had to do that. The funny thing though , is my mil suspects we borrowed from her stash, but does not know 100%. That is how much many they have all over the house. In a way, it is my just desserts. Money is the root of all evil. I would rather my hubby have to give up smoking or women, but to be so tied down to his parents because of money is the ultimate betrayal. I hate this feeling.As a person who has gone through this, I advise you to keep your thoughts to yourself, or it will get real ugly real quick in your relationship .
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:01 AM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • Go to a bank never inlaws.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:29 AM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • We borrow from my parents often. We have even gotten to where we call them First National bank of Mom and Dad. We ask if they are taking applications and what their rates are (lol). My parents are fabulous! They NEVER say a word and they let us work the money off instead of paying them back in cash. My Husband fixes their cars, makes repairs in their home and I often do computer work, tivo set up, a/v set up and am also my Moms personal assistant.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:30 AM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • I have borrowed money from my MIL on several occasions. It really hurts my DH's pride so we make it a last resort even though she's always been very helpful and generous with us. She has never held it over our heads or rubbed it in and we have always paid her back without her having to prod us about it. Her philosphy is that if she has it to help us then she is glad to do it since she loves us and wants to see us succeed. When we pay her back she's always very gracious. She once told me that she didn't care if we paid her back or not but she knows it's important for her son to be a man and pay his own way so that's why she accepts the re-payment. I love my MIL!
    mizkaye

    Answer by mizkaye at 10:57 AM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • Don't! If you have to borrow, that means you are already unstable (not you personally ;). You already said you can't pay them back for some time. Try and do without the other car or really figure out what your long term budget will be. Maybe you can barter? That's big on craigslist right now. Offer to do labor for someone for the work, or maybe you have some old equipment or furniture you can sell/trade. Good luck!
    ny_momof3

    Answer by ny_momof3 at 11:19 AM on Oct. 27, 2009

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