Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I was responsible, and now the irresponsible want my money

Yeah, the dead horse issue. But it came to my front door, relatively speaking.

I came across a relation of mine who was in trouble (foreclosure, hungry kids, etc. ). Since then he and his wife had another baby. They asked to borrow money. I got very cold hearted and told them to go away. They've dealt with money issues before and keep digging new financial holes.

How do I get through to these people (who keep calling me a greeding bitty - in so many words) to leave? I really want them out of my life.

I'm a mother to only one child. Took care of myself and my daughter. She's grown into a beautiful lady and I have a very decent and stable life.



Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:56 AM on Oct. 27, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • I had this problem for oh sooo long... I was a single mommy working 2 jobs 3 at one time and in school, needless to say we had a cute 2 bedroom apt and we were doing great had everythig and then some and I WORKED for it all. My cusin made some bad choices I had him in my home 3 diffrent times, for long periods of times. he wouldnt leave. Id lock up theyd break in. Then my other cousin and his g/f and there baby were homeless I took them in thats 4 additional heads in my and my 3 yr olds 2 bedroom apt. god was it crampy so much i even left home, theyd throw parties and trash the place, break in ext. I feed them all they werent working. they wouldnt take no for an answer. I finally started packing up my things and said you all can have this place im out. you shoulda seen the looks i got. It worked to my advantage that 2 wks after i started packing my bf asked us to move in and we bought a new house, they still are wonderers....
    mememecassie

    Answer by mememecassie at 12:05 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • Well its tough. On one hand, you are right. You take care of business correctly. So why should you have to give your money away? The only thing is, does that automatically mean they have not taken care of business? Maybe they did it right and it still didn't work (which is happening to a lot of people recently). I would say this (and I KNOW its hard) if you can help them and be comfortable still (wouldn't give them the whole sum) then I would, IMO. Blessings come that way. If you can't give them the money without pinching here and there then you just can't help...Its a tough decision. Good Luck
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:07 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • Call display... and don't answer the door unless you know who's there.

    Or, you can train them not to talk to you about money. That's a fun game...

    But, really, if you can afford it, you may like to give them some money --not enough to fix anything big, just a gift that you don't expect to be repaid ('cause really, how likely is it that anyone's ever going to make them pay anything back?!?) Then you stop being the mean old miser, and never stress out over when they're going to pay you back.
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 12:30 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • Do not give your money to anyone. and i'm not saying this from one person with money to another. I have NO money and 5 kids i chose to not be resonsible and be broke. You worked while i was playing so YOU deserve your MONEY. Do not give it away!! That's the way i feel about it.

    My sister and I are close in age. She waited to have kids till she was 28. I had 5 kids at 28. She lives in a house and has a nice car. I don't but i wouldnt ask her for money! It's her's she suffered while i was living it up spending my money of crap that I dont even have anymore. Why should I
    #1 go to welfare or #2 ask her for money.

    I need to read budget for dummies. (real book) and fix my mess! That is the only way I will learn to be responsible! Getting money handed to me like WELFARE will only teach me to depend on others

    DO NOT SHARE YOUR MONEY WITH ANYONE. Unless its something YOU really wanna do.

    Mrs.Oriaku

    Answer by Mrs.Oriaku at 12:48 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.