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I don't think this is normal....

To make a long story short, I am clinically depressed and on Wellbutrin. I am still having issues with my anger. I have an appointment to talk with my doctor on Monday. My question is, do your kids ask you if your happy? My kids (ages 3 1/2 & 2) ask me almost daily, and sometimes continuously throughout the day. Am I harming my children because I don't have a handle on my emotions? It doesn't seem normal for them to ask so often or at all. Please don't bash me, I have enough crap going on in my life.

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:20 PM on Oct. 27, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (12)
  • My dd does not ask me if Im happy. Im not always jolly around her and she is intuitive so to answer your question I think your kids are picking up on someting or they have heard you say you are unhappy. I dont think that is a normal question for kids to ask.

    Answer by ria7 at 12:24 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • OP here: So how do I handle this? I obviously can't lie to them, they pick up on that. The situation isn't going to change anytime soon (house forclosure, collections etc...) I don't want them to feel this way, it's not fair to them. But I just don't know what to do anymore.....

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:29 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • First I would like to ask if you have tried Abilify? I'm pretty sure it's used with antidepressants to kind of... boost them.

    If you look miserable kids are going to notice. They are your babies they want their mom to be happy. Little kids love to please their parents too, when they do something good they like it when mom or dad makes a big deal "yep that's good" isn't what they look for they want "YAY! that is so great, you are such a good/smart boy". Maybe if you aren't being as.... nice or involved they think you are upset, so they ask. It may not be "normal" but I think maybe they know you are unhappy sometimes and want to know how you are feeling. The little kids way of saying "how are you".

    Answer by OwensMama824 at 12:31 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • MMM.... tell them that you are a little upset right now but a big hug would make you feel much better. Not only will it make you feel a little better but they will feel good that they can make you happy.

    Answer by OwensMama824 at 12:34 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • OP: Thanks so much!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:39 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • kids are much older and they know that I have health problems, so yes, sometimes they do ask this kind of question. Maybe for children as young as yours when they ask these questions of you...maybe, just try turning it around to what about them makes you happy, so that you are not scaring them with the happenings of the foreclosure and such. Even if it is just something like...."Yes, I am so happy to have thoughtful children like you that look after their mother so well" (with a hug) kind of thing. Even if they see that you are sad sometimes, maybe that kind of comment could really make them feel good about themselves and appreciated. I know that sometimes it is hard, but there is nothing at all wrong with "faking it until you make it". I know that it sounds very sad to say, but there were many years that I felt this way and sort of faked it like I am describing. Best of luck to you. : )

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:51 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • OP here again: Anon, you made my day. Thank you!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:59 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • Have you discussed this with your therapist?

    Taking these meds without therapy is like taking painkillers for a broken leg without getting a cast.

    Answer by rkoloms at 1:00 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • Can't afford therapy.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:06 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • As a single mom my kids have seen my moods up an down. They pick up on it and natrually want you to be happy. Mine have asked if I am happy/sad. I think its how you respond to their questions and concerns that determins how they handle it. As young as they are simply admit to how your feeling and explain that your doing what you can to make things better. Keep as positive as you can about it. I have only experianced mild depression a few times and it scared the crap outta me when I realized I was depressed. Keep your head up , get the help you need and reassure your kids of the love you have for them. Life happens and you have whats most precious to you. Nowdays my kids just tell me if they notice I am sad/happy etc., then come the talks pictures hugs and love.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:35 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

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