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should i let this upset me???

me and my boyfriends sister are both preg...she is only 18 very immature and her pregnancy was unplanned...and we are older and were actually tryin to get pregnant....we are due pretty close together and it seems to me that his family is sooooooo much more intrested in her pregnancy and baby than mine....the female in the family have all bought her and her baby things but none of them have bought me anything!! they always ask her how she is and how shes feeling but his sister and the others with the exception of his step mom dont even talk to me....i dont know what i did wrong i am never anything but nice to them because i dont like drama and try to avoid it as much as possible, but his sister and i used to be friends....we used to talk a few times a week, now she wont even respond she just ignores me..should i be upset bout his family acting like they dont care or should i ignore it like they are me??

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:26 PM on Oct. 27, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (9)
  • Hard to say, when I had my second and third child with my second husband nobody made a fuss. It bothered me slightly. But his two sisters and their mother lived up each other's butts and couldn't be bothered with us under normal circumstances. They were the same way with his brother's wife. Since were were in a good place finanically I bought whatever I wanted for my babies, and never had to be bothered with returning any tacky stuff they gave me. My husband was more than proud to be able to provide for his kids. So I mostly enjoyed the postives and talked to my sister-in-law a lot.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:37 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • So first I know this is hard for you. My sister has the same problem with her SIL. That girl has two babies and had her parents raise them for the most part. While my sister who has three kids with her husband and doesn't do all the crazy stuff her SIL does gets treated horrible. It got to the point it caused problems in her marriage. But her way to deal she just started to distance herself from them and let them make the effort. It's hard cuz you want your baby to have a supporting family but if it doesn't get solved or at least brought to their attention now it could affect your child's relationship with them.
    LilMomma1216

    Answer by LilMomma1216 at 12:40 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • Yeah I can see why you are upset, they should be playing this fairly. They are looking at her as their baby girl, but their son and SO are also pregnant. I hope your boyfriend is sticking up for you on this one. What about your family are they excited and buying you and the baby things? Maybe his family is thinking your family can do that for you, but it's still unfair.
    MommaRox4683

    Answer by MommaRox4683 at 12:49 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • i would probably be upset. have you tried asking her why she is ignoring you? or talking to your family about your feelings? it could just be that they are buying her things because they think she can't afford the things herself.
    Stefanie83

    Answer by Stefanie83 at 12:57 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • op-yes my family is excited and helping me out...because it is our first...if it wasnt our first and it was hers i wouldnt be upset...and yes he is stickin up for me..he tell me not to worry about it and just not pay them any attention...we are happy and excited about it and so is my family so not to stress bout it cause we both know stress itsnt good....its hust hard sometimes with my hormones as crazy as they are not to let it get to me...its not fair...who wouldve thought having 2 new granddaughters so close togehter would drive people apart and not closer!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:01 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • op-his sister has been upset with me since i found out im preg cause i take some of the attention away from her...and when i found out that were having a girl too...she pretty much totally stoped talkin to me and having an attitude when she did....and yea they are helping her alot cause she cant afford it and the babys dad isnt around...but dont say youre goin to do the same for both and do more for one than the other...we could really use the help too
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:07 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • You have every right to feel disregarded and upset in this matter but I think you should choose to ignore it. Just focus on yourself and your pregnancy. Hopefully your boyfriend is 100% supportive to you and your pregnancy and to your feelings on this matter. As long as you have his support and he is there to back you up then that's all that you need. I'm sure things will change once you have the baby, who can deny a precious innocent baby.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:18 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • It sounds to me like you are having jelousy issues. I know you are not going to like to hear that but you don't sound so mature yourself. It is her family so naturally they are going to be more supportive to her. Does your family support her and give her attention? Try not to take this personal just think about it, it's a different opinion that I'm sure you haven't thought of yet.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:24 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • 1st off, you are not married into the family so technically you are not even part of the family and his sister of course, is. Maybe they are waiting until the baby, and actual relative, is born to be more active in your lives.
    2nd you said her baby's dad is not around, so wouldn't you think SHE would need the more support especially since you have your boyfriend?
    Just be happy you are pregnant, be happy you have support from your boyfriend, and be happy that YOUR family is really involved. Don't worry about everything else.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:41 AM on Oct. 28, 2009

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