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If you really loved eachother why didn't you get married before you got pregnant?

Just myopinion. I got married and then had a baby. We got married because we were in love not because we already lived together and had a baby so why not? Just wondering what your reasoning is for this? I know i'm going to get hated on. Lol.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:29 PM on Oct. 27, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (21)
  • IMO, living together as a couple is no different than living together with a piece of paper that says you are married...while it's more costly to leave with that piece of paper, it's still living like man and wife only legally
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 2:32 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • Jademom, So you didn't get married because it would be cheaper for you if you decided to up and leave?

    Op,
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:35 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • Hm...not hated or bashed (not my thing) but probably some very defensive answers....I'll give you mine. We simply did not have time. I grew up with my now husband (he lived about a 1/4 mile away on my country road) road the school bus together, dated on and off. He graduated and met someone, and had a baby, they broke up. I re-met him when his oldest was 9 months old and we dated for two month before I found out that I was pregnant in January, moved out of my parents house in January. My son was born in September and we were married in November. I do love him, and have for the last six years. I didn't marry him because of the babies (I have two now!) I married him because I love him and I wanted to. We don't have a perfect life, but we try to make it work out. Not every situation is like mine.
    MamaRoberts

    Answer by MamaRoberts at 2:35 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • I honestly dont think that is any of your business. Sometimes things happen, and they are not planned, but not everyone shares your same views on life. Just because not everyone shares your views does not mean they dont have views of their own they just dont have your views. Personally I have several children and have not been married, thank god because I would have been divorced. I dont want that. Commitment is commitment license or not.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:37 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • I graduated too...I should add! :) But we lost contact. Not like I hooked up with some guy that I had never met and so on and so forth....
    MamaRoberts

    Answer by MamaRoberts at 2:37 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • Jademom, So you didn't get married because it would be cheaper for you if you decided to up and leave? No, that's not what I said...I said it is really no different (living together married or not) And actually we lived together for 5 years before we 'got around' to actually getting married. It wasn't for the $$$ benefits we just weren't in a hurry to pay a pastor and license fee to get married so we were legal in the eyes of the law.

    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 2:39 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • I got married before I had my DD as well.

    But I had a stillbirth before I was married. I wasn't going to get married just because I was pregnant, I wanted to do it for the right reasons.
    Cavalrybaby02

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 2:41 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • I honestly dont think that is any of your business. Sometimes things happen, and they are not planned, but not everyone shares your same views on life. Just because not everyone shares your views does not mean they dont have views of their own they just dont have your views. Personally I have several children and have not been married, thank god because I would have been divorced. I dont want that. Commitment is commitment license or not.

    Come on Anon, If you think it's none of my business you didn't have to reply. I'm looking for grown up answers here. I asking women what their reason is. If they want to answer they can if they don't then they don't have to. I never said everyone has to share my same views, this be the reason for asking the question. Thanx anyways though.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:42 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • On the contrary, I married my ex-husband because I felt pressured to. It would have been a lot cheaper to not have gotten married. We were engaged and when I found out I was pregnant I flipped out. I canceled the wedding (should have listened to my instincts). Then he got deployed and we married for the coverage and benefits for our son. I knew him from growing up so it wasn't a total stranger situation. BUT, he turned out to be a big drinker (which he hid for a long time and I accepted too many excuses for), then became violent, abusive and an outright ass. It's cost us over $15K in attorney's fees to live a semi peaceful life. Our son is 10 now and he's always giving me crap about visitation. Not all parents should marry. But from life's lessons, if you are just living together, use caution. It's not fair that my son has to become two separate people to please us. Very unfair to him... :(
    ny_momof3

    Answer by ny_momof3 at 2:43 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • I personally think you posted this just to get people stirred up because you like controversy. This topic has nothing to do with you. It's none of your business why anyone gets married or when they get married. That is precisely why you posted anonymously and said I know im going to get hated on. lol. How about this. Get a life and quit worrying about others! :)
    CourtneyAnn8690

    Answer by CourtneyAnn8690 at 2:50 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

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