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Is spoiling a child really that bad if you are a stay at home mom?

I know issues arise when it comes to other people watching the children all day. My son is very good tempered and social. He'll even reach out to the women in the department stores. I don't think my son is spoiled but so many people seem to be afraid of it happening to any child. What is the big deal?

 
mrs.coop

Asked by mrs.coop at 2:41 PM on Oct. 27, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 18 (5,875 Credits)
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Answers (12)
  • mrs. coop, I read NO spoiled children in your post. Not wanting to go to family members DOESN'T mean a child is spoiled! It could well mean that these family members are overwhelming.

    There wasn't an infant or toddler in my family who wasn't scared to be held by my dad, because he would smother them with affection. When they didn't want to go to him he'd say they were spoiled. My mother would tell him, "Ed, they don't want to be mauled by you!"

    He MEANT well but was overwhelming.

    Nope, no spoiled babies in your family. Maybe some spoiled adults.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 6:28 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • I do think that spoiling a child is a big deal. Children need to learn that they don't just get whatever they want. so many things in this life have to be earned. And not just materialistic things either.

    But seeing as you posted this in the 0-12 months section i think it's fair to say that you don't need to worry about all of that just yet.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 2:44 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • Spoiling is handing your toddler every toy or sweet they demand. Doesn't sound like you have that issue.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:45 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • how old is he --- you are in the baby section and i am sure you will hear you cannot spoil a baby, which is so true, you can spoil a 2 yr old and make your child into a monster of course. but if you are theonly one who cares for him you will reap those reprocussions... why and who says your child is spoiled??? can you give solid examples so i can know what you are really talking about?
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 2:45 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • I think there are pros and cons to both sides. I prefer to stay home just because I know what my DD is learning and who she is around. I (personally) dont feel comfortable leaving her, but I dont think she is spoiled because of it.
    Mikayla_lynn

    Answer by Mikayla_lynn at 2:45 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • As a baby I don't think it's an issue, at least until the end of the first year. But kids do need to learn that they don't get everything they want or they are going to have a very tough time once they start school!
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 2:46 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • Spoil them all you want, but when you send them to school nobody else wants to deal with that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:47 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • Spoiling a child is a result of mis-handling, not loving affection.

    Kids don't need to learn that they don't get everything they want, they need to live in the real world where other people live, too. Interestingly, children handled gently and generously end up being much more gentle and much more generous than the children who have abrupt, tense and stingy parents.
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 2:49 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • I don't think there is anything wrong with a spoiled child, a spoiled brat is different there is a difference.
    Jguevara

    Answer by Jguevara at 2:50 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • As an example goes, my son loves attention. He feels left out if everyone leaves the room for dinner (still in my line of sight) and he'll fuss a little then. He's almost 9 months old. I don't think I'll change what I'm doing, don't feel as if he's spoiled. I think it's good he's so social and craves interaction. That is how children learn. I do not give in to every cry, I will eat my dinner, finish the laundry. Family is scared he will become spoiled because my sister has had two preemies, one of which was born at 24 weeks. She had the basic maternity leave but when she was able to come home to her children, she would hold them the whole time. They ended up showing preference to her and wouldn't go to some family members. My son welcomes interaction from anyone. That's my story but I was just asking in general.
    mrs.coop

    Answer by mrs.coop at 2:55 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

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