Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

My daughter's pregnant...anyone help out? Young Marriage?

I've always taught her safe sex, I have, but now she's pregnant and I know I must have done something wrong but I guess that's how it happens. She's 15 & the father is 17. (she'll be 16 next month). The father wants to marry her and I am SO aversed to this that it's untrue. They're too young I say but my husband reckons it's a great idea and that the boy should take responsibility for what he's done. However I think that realistically they wouldn't make it since my daughter does have infatuations that aren't normally in anyway related to love... Please throw in your two cents people. I just want some opinions on these issues. Thank you anyone!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:31 PM on Oct. 27, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (65)
  • Marriage at that age won't solve anything.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:33 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • NO! I got pregnant @ 15 married @16 and divorced by 17----never marry just b/c you are having a child together---if he loves her he will wait until they are both truely ready---maybe suggest he buy her a promise ring or something like that, so there is a commitment just no marriage.
    bumblebeestingu

    Answer by bumblebeestingu at 4:35 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • Talk to your daughter. What does she want to do? Personally, I wouldn't get married and I am 20, pregnant, and living with SO.

    Just because she's pregnant doesn't mean it's your fault or that her life is over. Her and her BF should take some parenting and relationship classes together. What do his parents think?

    Just talk to both of them and be open and realistic. Try to be supportive, even though it's hard right now. She is going to need you a lot more now than she ever did. Have her join this website so she can ask questions of her own!!

    Good luck!!
    Tashwitz

    Answer by Tashwitz at 4:35 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • Wow cant imagine her getting married that young. He can take responsibility by paying for baby. When they can afford to live on tehir own as a married couple and decide it is what they truley want then they could get married, but at this age you have to sign for it i would think and I wouldnt sign for it at this point.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 4:37 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • i would STRONGLY advise against marriage, to your daughter, her boyfriend, and her boyfriend's parents. he can be very loving and responsible without being married to your daughter. once they get to know each other, several years out into mature adulthood, then they should make an informed determination about their relationship.

    you don't always get to plan your life, but you still can make good decisions anytime the gameplan changes.
    mellypoo

    Answer by mellypoo at 4:37 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • no they should not get married so young. He can take responsibility without being married to her.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 4:37 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • No-they should not get married. My DH was forced/talked into marring his ex at 18 bc she was pregnant. They were fine for a little while but like most young relationships it did not last and he got divorced at 20. There is no reason they can't be together and the bf can pay for and take care of her and the baby. When they are older,are out of school, have steady jobs, and can support themselves they can get married.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:44 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • I'm sorry that's my worst nightmare! I prob wouldnt let them get married. I would make my daughter live with me. finish raising her and then help her raise her daughter. My outlook on this is prob really off but this is how i feel. She's your responsiblity till she is 18 so the baby is your responsiblity also till she is 18. I would make her stay home FINISH school let him stay with you also make him FINISH school. Get her MIRENA and help her become an adult. I want the best for my daughter and I feel if she gets prego young its my fault. She needs to finish school so she can take care of this baby. IF she wants to be with him they can wait till they are 18. Let them decide if they wanna be together and monitor everything. Just bcuz she is preg doesnt make her an adult. She needs to be shown how to be an adult.

    Good luck.
    Mrs.Oriaku

    Answer by Mrs.Oriaku at 4:46 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • look, my sister got preggo at 16.no she didnt get marry and am glad her bf was an idiot. they shouldt get marry becaused of the baby, if when she is 17 or 18 she is still in love with him then ok. he can still be a part of his childs life and they can still be together. marriage is a big step and right not your daughter needs to focus on motherhood and not becoming someones wife
    piwife

    Answer by piwife at 4:47 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • im young...18. im married. we have a beautiful baby girl that was born on june 7 earlier this year. we were engaged for over a year and i got prego before we got married. but i didnt marry him just because i was pregnant. i have to agree with everyone else on this one. i dont think they should get married just yet. but one thing that worked for me and my hubby was that his parents let me move in with them. we were living together but with a lot of support and adult help and supervision. if you or his parents could find it in your hearts to let the other move into your home, i could def. help. i know how much it helped me and also made me feel okay knowing i had support from parents on both ends. the one thing you should not do is to freak out at either your daughter or her bf. that will only make things worse. let her know u support her all u can. she will thank you for it later on.
    excited2bemommy

    Answer by excited2bemommy at 4:48 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN