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Was I supposed to keep everything? How?

My DS is 3.5 now and we are trying for another one. I was just reading a question by another mother about a baby shower and someone commented that you shouldn't have a shower for the second one because you have everything from the first one. I live in an itty bitty apartment (500 sq ft) and when DS outgrew something big, I took it to the consignment store or gave it to someone. I kept a few favorite clothes but other than that I got rid of them too. In all honesty, it would have been a nightmare to keep everything or even a couple of the big items. We tried to keep the crib for a while but ended up giving up as it was in the way. How do you keep them? Where? Is it really that abnormal that I didn't keep it all?

Not saying I think I should have another big baby shower, just wondering where/why I was supposed to store all this crap (and yes, it has no applicable use for better than a year so its crap to me)?


Asked by auroura at 6:51 PM on Oct. 27, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

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This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • If you have no storage, it's not a big deal. But, no, you shouldn't expect another shower and should buy everything yourself this time around.

    However, if one of your friends breaks etiquette and throws you another shower...who are you to turn them down? lol

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:57 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • If you CAN keep everything it can be helpful If you can't, you can't. No need to feel bad about having a shower.

    You did absolutely NOTHING wrong.

    Answer by gdiamante at 6:54 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • I believe every baby deserves a shower, so I'd have one! I gave a lot of my first daughter's things to a needy woman who was having twins, now I'm preg. with daughter #2 and need some things.

    Answer by MommaRox4683 at 6:56 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • I agree with qdiamante. I kept everything because I knew planned on having another one soon. My DD is two and we are due in Feb. My sister hasn't kept any of her stuff from her son, I guess it's a good idea to keep it if you have the room and plan on having more.

    Answer by MissMorgan07 at 6:57 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • MommaRox...a shower is not for the baby. It is for gifting the mother with things she will need to care for the baby. And it's not up to YOU to have a shower or not...first or is up to one of your friends or extended family to hostess one for you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:58 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • Every situation is different. We were lucky and had a big enough place where we could store everything. It became a hassle when we moved but I didn't give anything away and now I'm glad I didn't.

    The point of the other story, I think, is people who think they deserve to have a shower for every baby they have, or at least get a lot of free stuff. It's really just that everyone and every situation is different but a lot of people don't believe in a shower for every baby. Usually showers are for the first baby so the mother can get things for her baby and advice. Some people take advantage not run out of room.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 7:00 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • I agree, generally showers are for a first child, however, if your friends are kind enough to offer to give you a shower (no one should have a shower for themselves, or ask for a shower) then you are a lucky girl and can relax and enjoy it. You really can't expect the same large gifts from a shower that many people get the first time. If you didn't have room to store the other things, you may find that you have trouble finding space for them now with two children.....

    Answer by ohwrite at 7:06 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • My kids were 3 years apart and I kept everything. We lived in a little townhouse, but I loved the swing, cradle,pack-n-play, jumper and little outfits, and wanted them for our second baby. I also didn't want to have to buy everything twice or expect someone to buy them for me. I do think that every baby should have a shower, but I don't think you should expect the same sort of stuff you might have gotten the first time around, like the bigger ticket stuff. I think the second (or third, or whatever) shower gifts should be diapers, outfits, and other fun stuff. You don't have to justify why you got rid of everything from your first baby, but also don't expect everyone to buy you all that other stuff.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:08 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • Most generally you wouldnt exactly keep EVERYTHING. Instead I would say that you are expected to keep the three most important (and costly) things. the crib because they come apart and can easily store in the back of a closet or in moms attic, the carseat carrier because usually no matter how close your kids are their not going to both be in one at the same time and the stroller.
    All the other stuff is really a dime a dozen second hand and my motto is "a baby has doesnt know the difference between second hand and new"
    I mean no one should feel obligated to keep it if they really dont have space But I wouldnt expect a shower (not that it sounds like you do) Im just saying i just gave away my dd's baby swing with full knowledge of having to replace it myself when I get pregnant again. its ok though because I didnt really like it anyway lol

    Answer by SaturnsMom at 7:39 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • A shower is not for the baby and that is why it is held BEFORE the baby is here. A welcome to the world party is fine for all children and I had just that for both my children. As for keeping the stuff well if you took it to consignemnet shops then you got money for it so use that to buy used for this baby. It is rude to expect people to buy the things for you twice when the children are less then 5 years or so apart IMO. If you don't have the space then you need to figure out how to buy the stuff this time around yourself. Personally we knew we were having a second within 2-3 years so we asked my mother to keep it at her place since we didn't have the room either.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:23 PM on Oct. 27, 2009